24 October 2013

2013 Week 8 Picks

Oh noes! Another Eagles home game!

How is it again that the Linc came to be cursed? Anyone got a theory?

I'm thinking it's time to take drastic measures, like maybe sacrificing a goat or something. Plus, then, tasty goat (well, depending on your religious persuasion).

You know what the LAST home win was?

Yep - over the Giants, on the night the Eagles retired Wolverine's #20, September 30, 2012.

Look, at least this year, and even with all their rather obvious flaws (the defense, scoring too fast, the defense, improved but still poor special teams play, the defense, offense that runs hot and cold, and OH BY THE WAY DID I MENTION THE DEFENSE?), the Eagles are the better team. Mike Vick will be back, although it's hard to say how healthy he really is at this point. The man is amazingly tough and knows how to play hurt (although it's hard to "tough out" a hamstring injury). If he goes down, the Eagles are pretty much f-ed, so we all have to hope for the best (and avert our eyes every time he takes off down the field, and seriously, please God, why can't someone manage to teach him how to slide? Baseball players and soccer players do it all the time. It CANNOT be THAT hard.). Oh? And the Giants? BAD against the run. Look for Shady to have a big day.

The curse has to end sometime, goat or no goat. No time like the present, against the team that provided the last home win.


In the other matchups:

Panthers at Buccaneers: Did you hear that there's a "Fire Schiano" billboard in Tampa? Yeah, that's not a good sign. I'm going Panthers, once again, on the strength of their surprising defense.

Cowboys at Lions: Earlier this week, the NFL Network was covering this game and apparently Dez Bryant thinks he's better than Calvin Johnson. I'm not convinced. I give the Lions the slight edge for two reasons - homefield and Megatron.

49ers at Jaguars: I know I've written this here before, but Jags, look, the game is probably going to be blacked out locally anyway. If you forfeit, you lose your game check, but you also only lose 1-0, and you can get right to the "drowning your sorrows over playing for such a lousy team in a market where no one cares" pretty much right now. I don't care how bad the hangover is going to be, it will still be WAY less painful than this game. 49ers (says me and everyone in the known universe)

Browns at Chiefs: Make it 8? You know it! Go Chiefs!

Dolphins at Patriots: Pats. The Dolphins have had success this season, but they have too many weaknesses on both sides of the ball to withstand the Pats, particularly on the road in what's likely to be the first really chilly game of 2013. Patriots.

Bills at Saints: You know how the Saints are unbeatable at home? Yeah, that. Saints.

Jets at Bengals: Chef Spouse is going to kill me, but I'm going with the J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS! (then again, my picking of the Jets has been one of the reasons we're currently leading his office pick 'em league, so maybe he should just stop giving me a hard time and make me another cocktail, hm?)

Steelers at Raiders: Both of these defenses are, actually, not too bad. Meanwhile, both offenses are, um, putrid. I'm going Steelers, 6-3, or possibly 3-0.

Falcons at Cardinals: The Falcons are having a surprisingly rough year, but I think they'll handle the Cards, who won't be able to keep up on offense. Falcons.

Redskins at Broncos: So here's the question about this game - is RGIII back? That 45-41 win over the Bears seems to indicate so. Then again, the Bears defense is pretty depleted and Jay Cutler got knocked out. Not that Josh McCown did a bad job, but he brought a knife to a gunfight, so to speak. And the Redskins are NOT the Colts. Yeah, I gotta go with Peyton at home. That was a real nice 1 game winning streak you put together, there Skins. Broncos.

Packers at Vikings: You know, if the Vikings could keep a QB healthy for more than one game at a time, they might not be the disaster that they are. Earlier this week on the NFL Network, Jerome Bettis advised Adrian Peterson to sit the rest of the season out. He's not wrong. Packers.

Seahawks at Rams: San Bradford is done for the year and the Rams are so desperate they were talking to Brett Favre. BRETT F-ING FAVRE. WHO IS APPROXIMATELY NINE MILLION YEARS OLD. (yes I'm shouting - it's that ridiculous) Do I even need to say it? Seahawks.

On bye: Bears, Chargers, Colts, Ravens, Texans, Titans

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