10 October 2011

2011 Week 5 Recap

Eagles at Bills, Sunday, October 9, 2011 

In attendance: just me and Chef Spouse. I'm on a business trip in Seattle, and his dad lives out here, so he came with.

Menu: room service

Stud of the Week: there isn't one. Seriously. No one.

The DirectTV Sunday Ticket To Go was experiencing some significant buffering issues during the game today. It could've been the fact that I was on hotel wireless. But I prefer to think that DirectTV was trying to protect me from witnessing what Bleeding Green Nation referred to as the "vortex of errors and futility that has ensnared the Eagles." 

If you had put some money on the Bills being 4-1 and the Eagles being 1-4 in week 5 a month ago, you'd probably be able to afford some REALLY good booze to help you dull the pain right now.

Those few seconds of hope I enjoyed when it looked like they might just pull off the comeback win were fun. I enjoyed them. They might be the last I get this season.

What else is there to write about this team? Can't tackle? Check. Like, epically, historically bad at tackling? Check. Offensive turnovers at critical times? Check. Dumb penalties that extend opponents' drives? Check. Lack of defensive take-aways? Check. Doing nothing with whatever takeaways they do get? Check. Ineffective in the red zone on both sides of the ball? Check. Inexplicable coaching decisions? Check, check, check.

"Why wasn't Mike Vick the stud? After all, he broke Randal Scramble's all time QB rushing record today." Well, sure - and he threw four picks (although they weren't all his fault). And let's not forget the brain fart at the end of the half that cost the Eagles three points.

"What about Jason Avant? He had a career day!" Yep, and two critical turnovers. Hands Avant had TWO turnovers. And both at the worst possible times.

Fellow Eagles Maniac and I were Facebooking during the game. I suggested it might be time to sacrifice a goat. She feels like the goat we should start with is Juan Castillo.

How can this team find so MANY different ways to lose?

In the battle between five hundred total yards of offense and five turnovers, five turnovers will always win out. Well, lose. You know what I mean.

I really don't know where the guys go from here. I'm pretty sure Juan Castillo has to go. If not now, then during the bye week. Actually, if the Eagles drop next week's game to the Redskins (which I fully expect them to do), Andy Reid might not have a job after the bye week.

It used to be that, when the Eagles needed someone to step up, he did. Whether it was a big defensive stop, or a takeaway, or a pick-6, or a 14 second McNabb scramble, or Brian Westbrook turning a sure tackle for a loss into a 40 yard gain, or even Freddie f-ing Mitchell catching a 4th and 26, somebody would always step up. Not anymore.

The Eagles have plenty of guys with great fantasy stats. What they don't have is a team. And I don't know how they fix that.

Around the rest of the NFL...

Saints over Panthers: But just barely and on a last-minute (literally in the final minute) TD. The Panthers are going to be really good in another year or two.

Raiders over Texans: If I had known Al Davis was going to up and die, I would've called this game differently. Hey, you think if someone whacks Jeff Lurie, the Eagles might win another game this season?

Chiefs over Colts: I called it! Also, at least there's one team that's worse off than the Eagles!  For the moment!

Bengals over Jaguars: I really need to actually WATCH a Bengals game at some point to check out young Mr.Dalton.

Vikings over Cardinals: Looks like the Vikings have finally figured out how to win games. Hand off to Adrian Peterson. And it took them FIVE WEEKS to remember that?

Seahawks over Giants: You know that thing I said above about how you can't win games if you keep giving the ball away to the other team? Yeah, that. And the Seahawks even lost Tavaris Jackson.

Steelers over Titans: Just when you think the Titans are getting good, they screw up. Just when you think the Steelers are dead, they spring back to life. I should've remembered both of these things in calling this game.

49ers over Bucs: HOLY CRAP. 48-3. And the Bucs are a pretty decent team this year. Frank Gore's clearly back, and maybe, just maybe, Alex Smith is actually turning into a QB.

Chargers over Broncos: Beginning of the Tebow era? Probably. He didn't win, but he did play well, in sharp contrast to Kyle Orton, and he's fun as hell to watch.

Pats over Jets: Their record is better, but the Jets are almost as big a disappointment this year as the Eagles. Almost.

Packers over Falcons: It was all (or nearly all) Falcons in the first half, but you just can't keep the Packers down. Damn, they look good.

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