17 September 2009

2009 Week 2 Picks

Eagles/Saints - despite my ongoing chick fight with NOLA at Chicks in the Huddle, I give us, at best a 40% chance of winning Sunday. We're going to need a big day from the D and our special teams to stay in it. And the QB situation? Well, you know my thoughts on that already. Although Kevin Kolb has not ever had a full week of practice and full-on game prep with the first team offense, so who knows? He could pull a Koy Detmer/AJ Feeley/Jeff Garcia on us.

But honestly, worst case scenario is that DMac comes back in week 5 to a team that's 1-2. (And 2-1 seems far more likely, as I don't see us losing to the Chiefs, even if I play QB.) I can live with that. In the meantime, Brees, prepare to meet Trent Cole. It's an experience I don't think you're going to enjoy. And Reggie Bush, I'm sure you remember Sheldon Brown.

Fly, Eagles, Fly. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for an unexpected victory this weekend.

Texans/Titans - Hm. I picked the Texans to win AFC South. How demoralized do you think the Titans are from that OT loss to the Steelers? Yeah - not that demoralized. But I'm still calling the Texans, because I'm just that crazy.

Cardinals/Jaguars - Sheesh. Jags lost to Colts last week, and Cards lost to 49ers. Based on that, I should call Jags, because I don't care *how* much the 49ers have purportedly improved this year, the Colts are still better. OK, I just talked myself into it. Jaguars.

Raiders/Chiefs - Raiders. Definitely. They looked WAY better against the Chargers last week than they have in years. Now if JaMarcus Russell could stop overthrowing his receivers by an entire time zone, they might have something out there in Oakland.

Bengals/Packers - Packers. Definitely. That Aaron Rodgers kid might just work out after all.

Vikings/Lions - Whew. I called the Lions to win NFC North. And I still don't think the Vikings are all that - they're working a solid defense and Adrian Peterson and not much else. And the Lions do know how to capitalize on their opponent's mistakes (right Saints?). And Vicodin Boy is prone to making mistakes. Yeah...Vikings anyway.

Rams/Redskins - The Redskins better win, or both Jim Zorn and Jason Campbell could find themselves without a job by bedtime Sunday. Also, the Rams are REALLY bad. Of course, the Redskins looked a lot worse last week against the Giants than that relatively close 23-17 final indicates. But they're not THAT bad. Redskins.

Patriots/Jets - I hope that Rex Ryan can shut his trap long enough to come up with a good game plan for Sunday, because I'd like to see the Jets topple the Patriots. And if they watch the tape, they should notice that the Pats aren't looking nearly as unstoppable as they have recently. But the whole thing with the Pats is that you have to play 60 full minutes of football. Think the Jets have it in them? Yeah, me too - Jets.

Panthers/Falcons - Falcons. And $20 says Jake Delhomme gets benched in favor of AJ by halftime.

Buccaneers/Bills - The Bills really surprised last week. Much as it pains me to pick a team that was dumb enough to sign Captain ME!, I'm going with the Bills.

Seahawks/49ers - This might actually be as good as it gets in the NFC West. Which means I'm sure as hell not bothering to watch it. 49ers.

Ravens/Chargers - This should be a good game. The Chargers can thrill, but they can also disappoint. The Ravens, well, the Ravens generally don't disappoint. Which to me indicates a Ravens win.

Steelers/Bears - Jay Cutler on his bad debut against the Packers last week: "It's not going to keep me down." Uh no, that would be the job of two guys named LaMarr Woodley and James Harrison. The Steelers are going to miss Troy Polamalu big time, but they aren't going to need him to get past the Cutler-led Urlacher-less Bears. Steelers.

Browns/Broncos - Yep, the Browns still suck bad enough that they're going to lose to a team QBed by Kyle Freakin' Orton that required an act of God to get past the Bengals last week. Broncos.

Giants/Cowboys - OK, so I missed the Cowboys/Bucs game last week, but I have to tell you, the Giants did not look brilliant in their win over the Redskins, even by comparison. And I've already covered how bad the Redskins looked. Barring a natural disaster that takes out both teams (OHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE), I'm thinking Cowboys.

Colts/Dolphins - I think the Dolphins are going to surprise the Colts. Mind you, I didn't say they were going to *win*. But I heard a rumor they're planning to flamingo-bomb Peyton's lawn. Colts.

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