22 December 2008

2008 Week 16 Recap

Eagles at Redskins, Sunday, December 21, 2008

In attendance: just me, Shoegal, and Chef Spouse

Menu: the long-promised etouffee. And Shoegal brought a bottle of rose champagne, being hopeful. Hm. Tequila might've been a better choice, given what happened.

Stud of the Week: Brian Dawkins, who was the ONLY one who seemed to give a damn what happened. In a further indignity, there were NO photos of him from this week's game, so I had to go to the archives to get the bad-ass image to your right.

"Hello, my name is Snarkin' and I'm an Eagles-aholic."

Or maybe the 12 steps won't help me at this point. Maybe I'm more into the stages of grief. I think I'm past denial, but I'm not sure if I'm at anger or bargaining. Or possibly depression. Or maybe all 3.

I swear this team is just schizophrenic. We'll KILL the Rams, just lose a shoot-out to the Cowboys, and beat the Steelers, for chrissakes. Then we lose 2. Then win 3 in the row, including one over the very good Falcons. Then lose to the Giants. Then the effing tie. Then we get our asses handed to us by the Ravens. Then I give us up for dead. Then we reel off 3 wins and crawl back into the playoff race. Then blow it.

Did D-Mac not understand that his job could be on the line? Did Big Red? The Cowboys and Buccaneers handed us control over our own playoff destiny, and we're all, "Nah, we'd rather play like we just don't care."

The Worst Team in Football, Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, kept talking about what a great job the D was doing. Really? How come they couldn't get off the field on 3rd down? How come we ended up with shit field position on pretty much every single possession? What about that 8 1/2 minute drive in the second quarter? Sure, they turned up the heat in the fourth quarter. By which point it was too late. "Well, they held the Redskins to 10 points." This is the Redskins 20th ranked offense we're talking about.

D-Mac was off, sure. Why the hell did Andy dial up a play calling ratio of 46 pass plays - on an extremely windy night - to only 16 run plays. "Well, they had Westy blanketed." True, true. But have you ever heard of this other guy who plays for us called CORELL BUCKHALTER? Or what about trying a little wildcat with Peanut? And what about all the damn drops? You CANNOT be dropping passes in a key game like this! For such a pass-happy coach, it MYSTIFIES me that AR's never seemed to think it was important to have a class receiver. Guess what? After 10 years, I think we can conclude that receiver by committee does not work.

My point is that we played tight and scared and flat and just not good. Inside the Eagles and Eagles Blitz break it ALL down. And Bleed Eagles Green has a nice seasonal rant. I'm too pissed off.

We're not going to the playoffs. Again. But if we can't bring it to a big game, a game we HAVE to win, we don't deserve to go and even if we did, little would result other than disaster. And when a clearly talented team shows up for a key game unprepared to play and when the game plan isn't working and no one bothers to adjust, well, that's when I blame the coaching. So does Poor Sports. Call me on-board for a coaching change and on-board for McNabb going to some other team where he can get his well-deserved Super Bowl ring.

Around the rest of the NFL...

Ravens over Cowboys - thanks, Ravens. You helped us out as best you could, and we were owed after November 23. Only downside? No Romo tears. But there's always next week...

Colts over Jaguars - as predicted. By me and every other person who makes picks even occasionally.

Bengals over Browns - whatever. There's a decent chance both coaches lose their jobs in the off-season.

Saints over Lions - oh MAN do I want to see an anti-perfect season! Talk about coaches likely to lose their jobs....

Patriots over Cardinals - I know you're from Phoenix, but how can an entire team completely fall apart just because of a little snow? Oh right - another all-passing offense.

49ers over Rams - this is turning into a "let the beheadings begin" post, because Haslett's gonna be out, too. Singletary probably won't though.

Chargers over Bucs - once again, thanks for the help. Which we promptly dissed. In other news, Jeff Garcia is one bad-ass mofo. That looked to me like a broken nose, blood pouring out every which way, and he just popped back up and kept on playing. Didn't even need an injury time out. And he's 38! Unbelievable!

Dolphins over the Chiefs - another coach that's likely to be out. And the Dolphins may win the AFC East the season following their 1-15 year. That is one hell of a turn around. Guess Chad Pennington's not looking so bad now, hm Man-Genius?

Titans over Steelers - with Albert Haynesworth out, I figured the Steelers had a pretty good shot. Nope. Poor Groceries. If they can't protect him a little better, he's not going to make it through the playoffs.

Bills over Broncos - this made me happy. I don't like Jay Cutler. And getting bounced by the Bills has to be embarrassing. HEE!

Seahawks over Jets - speaking of embarrassing. And we're now starting the annual "Will he or won't he?" conversation about Vicodin Boy and retirement. Advice? JUST GO AWAY ALREADY. Haven't you earned enough money so that you can just hunt and fish full time? Jeez!

Raiders over Texans - I think it must be written somewhere that the Texans are not allowed to finish over .500. EVER.

Falcons over Vikings - talk about a turn around! Between their lousy record, Michael Vick, and Bobby Petrino, they were not only bad last year, they were a laughingstock. Who's laughing now? That would be Matt Ryan and Mike Smith, all the way to the playoffs.

Giants over Panthers - the Panthers totally outplayed the Giants for 3 quarters. And in the end, it didn't matter. Still, my sleeper team will be going to the playoffs! So yay me!

MNF is about to start. I can't believe this is the last MNF of the 2008 season. Where did the time go? I'm pulling for the Packers, because we still have a totally outside chance to get into the playoffs, so a Bears loss can't hurt. And it should be an interesting game, with two cold weather teams playing in frigid conditions in Chi-town tonight. Good way to end this season of MNF.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Yeah, yeah, yeah - no why don't you give me a nice papercut and pour lemon juice in it?


All I want for Xmas is to beat the damn Cowboys and at least make sure THEY don't get in the playoffs.

Unknown said...

Great recap - you hit all the relevant points on the Eagles very well.

As for the Texans, I love your observation that it must be written that they can't finish above .500.

Anonymous said...

@rocketman - Thanks. IgglesBlog has some really good stuff, too.

Well, not "good" in the sense of "man we played good and won an important game" but "good" in the sense of "let me tell you what the hell is wrong with these guys."