04 December 2008

2008 Week 14 Picks

Eagles/Giants: Call it irrational exuberance, but I'm picking us, in my Upset Pick of the Week. No, I'm not drunk. Why do you ask? Just don't tell Plax where I live in case he goes on a shooting spree. Seriously - I'm picking the Eagles. Someone other than the damn Browns has to beat the Giants, right? Why not us? McNabb played like a man with nothing to lose against the Cards - maybe because he knows something we don't about next season - and if he can keep that up, we could win this thing. No, I'm really not kidding. Really.

Chargers/Raiders: Chargers *should* be able to win this one. Shoegal just dropped us off Kung Fu Panda, Tropic Thunder, and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Why am I telling you this? Because I'm looking for opinions: which one should I watch rather than this game?

Jags/Bears: Bears. I'm watching the Jags on MNF while writing this, and they're TERRIBLE. For chrissakes, they're down 10-0 to the Texans just outside the two minute warning in the first half.

Vikings/Lions: Vikings. Also, shouldn't the NFL invoke the mercy rule for the Lions and re-jigger their season so they only have to play the Chiefs for the last 4 games? Then they *might* win one.

Texans/Packers: The Packers will be looking for some payback after that loss to the Panthers last week. Unfortunately, the Texans aren't much of an opponent. Back to MNF - Jaws and Tony K have been talking about all these overlooked decent players on the Texans (tip? Sage Rosenfelds is not one of them) and how excited they are to be playing on the national stage. And I'm thinking, "Sure, because they're hoping this is their ticket out of town. 'I'll play for the Raiders if it will just get me the hell out of here!'"

Falcons/Saints: Falcons. Sorry NolaChick.

Bengals/Colts: Colts. I can't even think of anything funny to say about the Bengals, and that's a damn shame.

Dolphins/Bills: Dolphins. What has happened to the Bills? They looked so strong at the beginning of the season, and then they COMPLETELY fell apart in November. In October? Talking about winning the division. Now? Talking about watching the playoffs from the couch again.

Patriots/Seahawks: Talk about whipping up on some poor little team to erase your bad feelings about a bad loss! Patriots. Also, poor Seahawks. Also, sacrificing the paycheck for the game that comes with a forfeit might be worth the hit. There must be a place in Seattle with 10 cent wings and $2 longnecks for Monday Night Football, right? So that balances out.

Chiefs/Broncos: You know who's not as good a team as people keep saying they are? The Broncos. Unfortunately for the Chiefs, the assessments of them are correct - they suck. Broncos.

Jets/49ers: Once again, taking out a bad loss on a crap team. Why is the NFC West everyone's butt monkey (well, everyone except the Bills)? Oh yeah - that's right - it's because all the teams out there are HORRENDOUS.

Rams/Cardinals: Speaking of, Cards. Because they're now back in a game where their 7-5 record is actually meaningful.

Cowboys/Steelers: Oh man, will I be cheering my brains out for the Steelers. Also, for Troy Polamalu to kill TO. (Joking! I'm joking!) (OK, not really. Take him out Troy. ALL the way out.) Steelers.

Redskins/Ravens: The Skins are on a slide, and I think it's likely to continue this week. Remember how I pointed out that the Skins have two offensive plays: hand off to Portis and "Crap, Portis is taking a breather! Now what do we do?" Yeah, Clinton's been struggling with injuries for a while now, and it might be as simple as that. The Skins sure as hell aren't putting up a lot of points these days.

Bucs/Panthers: Now THAT'S what I call a Monday Night Football game! I'm calling Bucs because, true to form, Jeff's getting his team hot at the right time. 9-3 and on a 4 game winning streak. Go Philly South!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

The Bills' nosedive began right after Dick Jauron was offered a contract extension. Could be a coinky-dink, but I suspect otherwise.