20 November 2008

2008 Week 12 Picks

Oh man. I am not looking forward to facing the Ravens Sunday. I'm starting to have a real bad feeling about our season. And we'll be at M&T Bank Stadium. Which means I probably can't start kicking or throwing things if we start blowing it. What? I am being optimistic. I wrote "if"!

The Ravens have beaten the Browns (twice) and Bengals, the Texans, the Raiders, and the Dolphins. They've lost to the Giants, Colts, Steelers, and Titans.

So it's not hopeless. We did beat the Steelers - man, does that seem like a million years ago - and the teams the Ravens have beat don't have the best combined record. The Dolphins are the only team they've beat that's won more than 3 games.

Sigh. I'm calling an Eagles win, but it's more out of hope than anything else.

Bengals/Steelers: Steelers. Wouldn't it be funny if they tied, too? Yeah, there's no way Mike Tomlin lets that happen. He'd put his foot up someone's ass first.

Jets/Titans: Titans. Dear Brett Favre: you, sir, are no Kerry Collins. Hee!

Buccaneers/Lions: Man, why don't we get to play the Lions this year? We could use an extra bye week. Buccaneers.

Vikings/Jaguars: Jaguars. I think. Or maybe Vikings....no, Jags. Probably.

Bills/Chiefs: Trent Edwards can throw as many picks as he wants - it won't matter. Bills.

Bears/Rams: Well, at least the Bears will get to recover nicely from that drubbing they took at the hands of the Packers last week, when they spank the Rams.

Patriots/Dolphins: Oooo - two rules in conflict. Never pick against Bill Belichick when leading the division is on the line versus the Dolphins only beat good teams. This is the real test of the theory. I'm going with the bold pick of the Dolphins.

49ers/Cowboys: Even if the Cowboys hadn't gotten their season back on track Sunday, it wouldn't matter. They'd beat the 49ers with my cat under center. Sigh. Cowboys.

Texans/Browns: I'm going with the Texans. What the hell - they have to win some games, right?

Raiders/Broncos: Oh, this is going to be FUGLY. Broncos. Also, avert your eyes.

Panthers/Falcons: OK, Panthers, if you're the real thing, this is the time to show it. I don't know - I have a feeling about this one. I think the Falcons are going to pull off the upset. Apparently, this is Offical Upset Pick Week here at the Snark. Should I switch that pick above to the Raiders? Nah - I'm not crazy.

Giants/Cardinals: OK, I'm putting my money where my mouth is. Well, not my ACTUAL money, but my reputation. Oh yeah - I usually get punked by both my divisional picks and my weekly picks. So really nothing's on the line here. Cardinals. I have to believe the Giants are not the behemouths everyone seems to think they are.

Redskins/Seahawks: Chin up, Skins! You'll win this week!

Colts/Chargers: Remember when this used to be a good game? Colts? Chargers? Who cares? This isn't the Worst Game of the Week, but it is going to be the biggest disappointment.

Packers/Saints: Two 5-5 teams, NFC South is looking tougher than North this year, could go either way....who am I kidding? I'm calling Saints! And probably etouffee for Monday Night Football.


Unknown said...

Enjoy the biggest mid-field emblem in the history of football while you're at the game.

Anonymous said...

I'm just hoping I don't get my ass kicked - I've been warned that the guys who sit to one side of the tickets we got are complete tools.