31 October 2008

2008 Season Week 9 Picks

Eagles/Seahawks: Historically, we don't do well heading west, but this is the Seahawks, for chrissakes. 2-5. In the NFC West. This should be a cakewalk. Which means it will probably be way closer than it should be. But I don't see how we lose - unless the entire team misses the plane. Eagles.

Jets/Bills: Bills. Who are going to enjoy picking off Vicodin Boy all the live-long day.

Lions/Bears: Bears. Also, ow. Also, picking up Dante Culpepper (rumored) will not help you, Lions. I'm pretty sure you need an exorcism at this point.

Jaguars/Bengals: Think this will be the week the Bengals finally win a game? Me, either. Jaguars.

Ravens/Browns: Ravens. Unless Derek Anderson, circa 2007, manages to show up.

Buccaneers/Chiefs: Buccaneers. Man, the games in this week's lineup (so far) are likely to be so lopsided, I can't even scrounge a reasonable upset pick.

Texans/Vikings. If I go with the Texans, does that count as an upset pick? No, I don't think so. Texans.

Cardinals/Rams: Rams. THIS is the upset pick. The Cards are leading the division, but the Rams have been looking WAY better under Haslett.

Packers/Titans: The is THE game to watch in the 1 pm time slot. Don't get me wrong - the Titans are TOTALLY going to win - but at least it's a matchup of two good teams.

Dolphins/Broncos: You know that whole "the Dolphins only beat good teams" thing? Dolphins.

Cowboys/Giants: Damn! Why is this game playing opposite ours? ARGH! I can't watch TWO GAMES AT THE SAME TIME! Thanks a LOT, NFL. Also, Giants.

Falcons/Raiders: Falcons. How do you fire your owner? Anyone who figures it out, call Tom Cable. Immediately.

Patriots/Colts: Patriots. In a game that's not going to be nearly as exciting as these matchups have been over the last several years.

Steelers/Redskins: As much as I want to call Steelers, they have NOT fared well against the NFC East this year. Redskins.

Edited to add: Bye week: Panthers, Saints, Chargers, 49ers. All but the first teams that need to do some serious soul-searching this week.

30 October 2008

2008 Season - Midterms

Here we are at the midpoint of the season: 8 games played, 8 games to play. The picture that is the 2008 season is coming into focus.

There have been some nice surprises: the Titans, the Redskins new head coach Jim Zorn, the success of the Wildcat offense, the Bills, Aaron Rodgers, Matt Ryan, Kyle Orton, and last, but certainly not least, Peanut.

There have been some nasty surprises: Tom Brady's injury, the Browns, the Chargers, the Saints (sorry Nola - I expected better), the Cowboys falling apart (the surprise, given their cast of characters, is that it didn't happen sooner), Alex Smith, Dante Culpepper, Tyler Thigpen,

And there have been some absolutely no surprise at alls: the Lions still suck, so do the Bengals, Al Davis is still INSANE, Brett Favre refused to ACTUALLY retire and go away, and the NFC West is still the Worst Division in Football and Many Other Professional Sports, Including Curling. I'm pretty sure the Nats, professional baseball's answer to the Bad News Bears, could beat most of the teams in the NFC West.

So we find ourselves at the midpoint with some of the perennial teams at the top (Steelers, Bears, Pats), some surprises (Titans, Cardinals, Panthers), and some shocking absences (Chargers, Seahawks, Colts, and, at least for me and always, Eagles).

So let's see how my picks are doing so far:

AFC East: Patriots. Hanging on, but by a thread.
AFC North: Browns. Uh, no. Not impossible, but looking pretty damn unlikely.
AFC South: Jaguars. Damn, picked the Titans one year too early. I was right about the Colts, though!
AFC West: Chargers. To be fair, EVERYONE picked the Chargers. Who knew they'd fall apart like a cheap pair of shoes in the rain?
NFC East: Eagles. We're still in the wildcard race, because, once again, the two wildcard teams *will* come from the NFC East. But it would be REALLY helpful if the Cowboys could keep up their ridiculous antics. Odds? 1.
NFC North: Vikings. Hm. They are only 1 game back, but the Bears and Packers are both looking way better than I expected.
NFC South: Saints. Damn.
NFC West: Seahawks. I FINALLY pick them, and they decide to crumple NOW. Sheesh.

For those of you keeping count, that means I'm 1 for 8. .125. That's not good. Lots of football still to play, but a lot of the teams that are rising to the top of their divisions are looking pretty damn solid. Once again, it looks like I'm getting my ass kicked by my divisional picks.

SundaySchedule: November 2, 2008

For my local peeps:

Game schedule for Sunday, November 2will be:

1 pm - Packers/Titans
4 pm - Eagles/Seahawks
8 pm - Patriots/Colts (not quite as exciting as in years past, eh?)

Menu: first batch of chili of the fall! Bring something to go with.

World Champs!

28 October 2008

2008 Week 8 Recap

Eagles versus Falcons, Sunday, October 26, 2008

In attendance: Chef Spouse, Shoegal and me. Ex-Navy Cheesehead had to work, and Steelers Transplant is still in the Burgh.

Menu: Shoegal provided a YUMMY ham, I made scalloped potatoes, Chef Spouse made us bourbon drinks, and we finished off with chocolate cake.

Stud of the Week: Lito Sheppard, for once again picking off an opposing QB in the endzone. Lito, I'm not sure how much longer we'll have you, but I, for one, will miss you when you're gone.

Well, Troy Polamalu was 100% right. How the hell was Trent Cole's hit a 15 yard penalty? I guess we're not even allowed to LOOK at the QB too hard these days. Of course, had someone hit DMac like that - and them stomped on his throwing hand - it would've been no big deal. But you hit a cute little white boy, it's all over. I think I missed most of the rest of the first quarter bitching about it. Trent almost made Stud of the Week because he's so awesome that he scared Matt Ryan into going down on his own several times later in the game. Nice.

Once again, our offense had trouble getting it going. Until my boy DMac punched it in. And thank God! Is the QB sneak the answer to our 1st-and-goal troubles? Yes, I think it is.

Lots of punting. Punting, punting, punting. And then my boy Lito picks off the Mattster in the end zone. Like he does. All the time. Sure, Asante had another pick and a number of batted passes. And Chef Spouse was arguing for Asante to be Stud of the Week. Well, my expectations for him are a LITTLE higher than a few batted balls. And he's paid way more than my boy Lito. Who I love. And will love, no matter where he plays. Unless it's Dallas.

So we were playing better than the Falcons, at least in the second half. But the game was still definitely in play. And we were getting down towards the end. And the Falcons took it to a one possession game. And then, for once, THEY burned all their time outs and THEY muffed a punt (or maybe they didn't, but they also couldn't challenge), and WE were the ones who put the game away (although, had West36 gone down on the 1 again, we would've been able to run out the clock. But you gotta let the man get in the endzone from time to time.)

So we're STILL at the bottom of the NFC East, in a year when three divisions (AFC West, NFC North, and NFC West) are being LED by 4-3 teams. But Kevin Curtis is back, DMac seems to be his old self,West36 is back, Peanut's having a hell of a rookie year, and I'm just keeping my fingers crossed.

Speaking of fingers crossed, the Rays saved Bud Selig's ass by tying it up in the top of the 6th, so he could suspend the game without being forced to call a Phillies win. But it won't matter, because we're going to win it anyway, whether we finish the game tomorrow, next week, or after Thanksgiving. Go Phillies!

Around the rest of the NFL...

Ravens over Raiders. Well, duh.

Panthers over Cardinals. Well, also, duh. But the game was WAY closer than I thought it would be.

Cowboys over Buccaneers. Damn. Damn damn damn. Jeff, the way you played in Philly, I KNOW you hate the Cowboys, too. How could you let them do this to us? Sigh.

Redskins over Lions. This game was way closer than it should have been, too. Did you hear that the Lions are looking at signing Dante Culpepper? Desperation move. Of course, Testaverde seems to have MEANT his retirement, so they don't have a *whole* lot of options. Might want to start by firing your head coach, though, guys. Of course, if you wait, the Chiefs are probably going to pick up Culpepper. But I think a new head coach will do you more good. BTW, there is significant consternation in DC about the close win over a TERRIBLE team.

Dolphins over Bills. Told you the Dolphins only beat good teams. Don't worry - as soon as the zebras start calling fair against the Pats again, the Bills will jump right back to the top of the AFC East.

Pats over Rams. Speaking of, I agree Jim Haslett: there is NO WAY the Pats committed not ONE single penalty the entire game. NO WAY. If no one else will call bullshit, I will.

Saints over Chargers. Cheerio, old boy! Nola Chick went to London for the game. Get the full recap at Chicks in the Huddle. By the way, the whole "let's get Europe into the NFL" thing is never going to work. We already tried that. It was NFL Europe. It's been shut down. This is just an excuse to, well, I don't really know. Screw a bunch of players by making them get on a completely different time zone for a week? Not really sure what the purpose is here. But Geaux Saints!

Jets over Chiefs. And Brett Favre throws interception infinity and infinity and one! How humiliating is it to need a last minute miracle to beat a Tyler Thigpen led Chiefs team? Also, I love Herm, but how does he still have a job?

Browns over Jaguars. I can't frapping figure out the Browns. They beat the Giants and the Jags and lose to the..well, actually, I just checked. They've lost to the Cowboys, the Steelers, the Redskins, and the Ravens. OK, maybe they actually aren't so hard to figure out. Except for this week. Should've gone with the Titans for AFC South this year rather than last.

Texans over Bengals. Well, duh. I mean, the Texans aren't that good, but the Bengals are TERRIBLE. TERRIBLE. What's worse than terrible? Not sure, but they're that, too.

Giants over Steelers. Damn. Damn damn damn. DAMN. Steelers Transplant was at the game and said Heinz Field was INSANE. Until the last quarter. Argh.

Seahawks over 49ers. Apparently, there's someone the Seahawks can beat: other teams in the NFC West. Which really shouldn't count. Easiest. Division. Ever.

Titans over Colts. One hell of a game, too. I got to see the end of it live since Game 5 was suspended on account of the typhoon and the resulting lake at 2nd base of Citizen's Bank Park. So how long do you think until the hype over "will they go undefeated?" starts? Or is that reserved for NFL "Royalty" like the Pats, Colts, and Cowboys? I'm sure the victory was particularly sweet because it was the Colts. How do you think they manage to make Vince Young go away forever? Oh! I know! Offer him to the Lions!

23 October 2008

Sunday Schedule: October 26, 2008

For my local peeps:

Game schedule for Sunday, October 26 will be:

1 pm - Eagles/Falcons
4 pm - Giants/Steelers. Go PA!
8 pm - Game 4 of the World Series.

Menu: Shoegal is providing the main dish this week, and she's bringing a ham. YUM! I'm making scalloped potatoes to go with, so someone should bring some veggies. Or some wine.

22 October 2008

2008 Week 8 Picks

Ok, first game of the World Series is about to start (theoretically - I've been watching the damn broadcast for over 30 minutes, and Mike Schmidt just announced the Phils lineup, so maybe we'll get the opening pitch sometime before midnight - and what's with the ridiculous triumphalist theme music?), so this is going to be the abbreviated version.

Eagles/Falcons: Eagles. I'm willing to believe that we've righted our season, despite scant evidence (beating the 49ers) to the contrary.

Raiders/Ravens: Ravens. That Raiders over Jets thing was lucky.

Cardinals/Panthers: The Cardinals are leading a division, but it's the NFC West, so it doesn't count. Panthers.

Buccaneers/Cowboys: So I was a little precipitous in calling for a Cowboys implosion the past two years. I knew they'd get there eventually. Buccaneers.

Redskins/Lions: Redskins. And they should just go ahead and rest anyone who's injured. Or tired. Or has a hangnail. Or has some errands to run. Or just doesn't feel like going to Detroit this week. Their bye is coming kind of late, and the Steelers are going to be tough next week - they could probably use a little extra down time. Plus, you know, there's all those house chores you have to get done in the fall to get ready for winter. No time like the present. It's not like they're going to need everyone on deck to take the Lions.

Bills/Dolphins - Dolphins only beat good teams, which means they win this one. Dolphins.

Rams/Patriots - Rams, in this week's upset pick. Go Jim Haslett! That permanent job is only 4 wins away!

Chargers/Saints - who rights their season? I'm going with "hopeful" and calling Saints. Reggie's out, but Marques is back, and maybe Sean Payton will get Deuce McAllister involved more and everything will come together.

Chiefs/Jets: The Jets will bounce back from their loss to the Raiders and whup up on the nearly as pathetic Chiefs. Herm, I'd be freshening up my resume if I were you.

Browns/Jaguars: Jaguars.

Bengals/Texans: Think the Bengals might finally win a game? Nope, me either. Texans.

Giants/Steelers: Aside from the season opener, when the Skins were all, "Wait - that was the first game of the REAL ACTUAL season? Oops! Our bad!" this will be the first team with a winning record the Giants have faced. They are going DOWN harder than old Groceries Rothliesberger. Steelers.

Seahawks/49ers: Poor 49ers! You had to play the NFC East the past two weeks! Aren't you glad to be back in the West? Yes, you are, as I could coach you to a win over the Seahawks. 49ers. Also, Worst Game of the Week.

Colts/Titans: Titans. Who are taking over AFC South. I was just a little early calling it.

Bye: Bears, Broncos, Packers, Vikings - 3 of the NFC North teams have byes the same week? Isn't that a little weird? There's a joke here about Lions, I'm just not quite sure what it is....

20 October 2008

2008 Week 7 Recap

In attendance: Just me & Chef Spouse. And a fire in the fireplace. And yummy manhattans. And duck (yes, Shoegal, we postponed the etouffee). And football nookie. There are some advantages to the bye week, you know.

I love and hate the bye week. I love it because we're not playing and I can just kick back and enjoy the football with no stress and without the bad feelings that come from, say, kicking back and enjoying the football with no stress 'cause it's January, and my boys are out of it. I hate it because we're not playing, damn it!

Rams over Dolphins. I called it. The logic may have been suspect, but whatevs. Go me!

Bills over Chargers. Yesterday, Chef Spouse observed that the Chargers are a lot like the Eagles: tons of talent on paper, can't quite get it done on the field. How have the Chargers not won a Super Bowl? Dunno, but I can't answer that for us, either. MNF guys think Norv Turner's job may by in jeopardy. Maybe.

Panthers over Saints. Damn, I really wanted to be wrong about this one, NolaChick. Also, Reggie Bush is out for a month. Drew Brees may be the bomb-diggity, but the Saints are in a world of hurt right now. They get Marques (and loud mouth Jeremy Shockey, who still thinks he's way better than he is) back just to lose Reggie. Ow.

Steelers over Bengals. Um, of course.

Texans over Lions. Also, of course. Do the Lions and Bengals play each other at all this year? That might be the only way either team wins a game. Yes, they're that bad. Also, the Giants are, I still maintain, not all that. See below RE: the fact that they barely beat the Bengals and have hardly played a decent team yet, aside from the "wait - that was the SEASON OPENER? No way, dude!" Redskins.

Bears over Vikings. What happened to EITHER team's defense? 48-41? That's higher than most high school basketball scores! The highlights consist of one word: "Interception." Also, Kyle Orton's not looking too bad.

Giants over 49ers. Damn. Also, Monday Night Countdown just announced the Mike Nolan may lose his job TONIGHT. I just want to point out that I called that in my response to rocketman's post 2 1/2 hours ago. Only I thought they'd at least wait until the 49ers bye in a week.

Rams over Cowboys. OK, I will never stop laughing. Also, apparently, Scott Linehan was THAT bad. Also, on Monday Night Countdown, the guys have been all about "what's wrong with the Cowboys?" 13 Pro Bowlers....blahblahblah....Tony Romo...blahblahblah...Wade Phillips....blahblahblah...where's the leadership...blahblah...Oh NO HE DIN'T! Did you see Tom Jackson: "TO...Pacman...Tank..." facial expression clearly indicating that he thinks those three may just be the scum of the NFL. Sweet. Also, accurate. Also, HA! Also, I hate Jerry Jones, Wade Phillips, Tony Romo, TO, and the whole lot of them. Also, the game was broadcast locally and the Cowboys were getting spanked so thoroughly that the local affiliate switched to the Giants/49ers game in the middle of the 3rd quarter. Yes, the Cowboys sucked THAT BAD.


Titans over Chiefs. You know, I called the Titans to win the division last year. I was a little ahead of my time. Which means next year it should be all Jags! Also, apparently, Herm's another guy who's likely to lose his job. If he gets fired before the end of Monday Night Football, just remember that you heard it here first.

Raiders over the Jets. Oh. My. God. 57 yard field goal in OT. Hell of a finish, in a game that was looking to go down as a tie. Yes, they played almost 12 1/2 minutes of overtime. You know, the Monday Night Countdown guys also think Mangini could be in trouble. And maybe Vicodin Boy should've stayed retired. If he gets fired before the end of Monday Night Football (either one of them), just remember that you heard it here first.

Redskins over Browns. That was a sucktacular game. Both teams played horribly, only the Skins played a little less horribly. If you didn't watch it, be glad. Seriously. It was terrible. 14-11 makes it sound way more exciting than it actually was. Score at halftime? 0-0. Really. Ugh.

Packers over Colts. Damn. I knew I should've gone with my gut and picked the Packers. The AFC sucks this year (other than the Titans and the Bills. And yes, I include the Steelers, who lost to the 3-3 us).

Bucs over Seahawks. Jeff Garcia is seriously ageless. How is he still playing like this at 38? I'm (almost) 38, and I can't believe he can pull that shiz-nit off at this point. And he has no one to work with! He is one tough mo-fo. QB controversy? Not anymore. Of course, playing against Seneca Wallace is like getting to play the JV team. Will Jeff Garcia be Vinny Testaverde v. 2? You know it!

You know what else? The Broncos are totally going to win Monday Night Football. Which starts in about 5 minutes.

17 October 2008

2008 Week 7 Picks

Brought to you by the letter "P," the number 35 (double extra bonus points if you know the significance), and the bye week.

Chargers/Bills: Ok, the Bills are 4-1 (and coming off the bye week). The Chargers are 3-3 (and coming off a win over the Pats). Yeah, the Chargers are looking more and more like the Chargers, and the Bills, well, they're the Bills. Chargers.

Saints/Panthers: Much as I want to call Saints, I think the Panthers are looking good this year (despite their recent loss to the Bucs). Gotta call Panthers, although I don't want to. Maybe I'll get lucky and the Saints will have their game back.

Vikings/Bears: Bears. No contest.

Steelers/Bengals: Steelers. Also no contest. Also, Groceries may finally get to spend most of a game on his feet, since the Bengals are not exactly a major sack threat.

Titans/Chiefs: Titans. Again with the no contest. I suspect Vince Young is getting GOOOOD at Guitar Hero.

Ravens/Dolphins: OK, this is actually a tough call. Both teams are 2-3. The Ravens have beat the Bengals and the Browns, and are on a 3 game losing streak (Steelers, Titans, Colts). The Dolphins beat the Pats and the Chargers, and lost to the Jets, Cards, and Texans. So this is the battle of "can't win against good teams" versus "beats good teams, loses to bad teams." Which one trumps? I'm going with "loses to bad teams" and calling Ravens.

49ers/Giants: You know, the 49ers had us through three quarters. The Giants managed to lose to the BROWNS. This could...yeah, even I don't believe that. Giants.

Cowboys/Rams: The Skins beat the Cowboys. The Rams beat the Skins. That should mean that the Rams will beat the Cowboys. Which they will. But it has nothing to do with the Rams, and everything to do with Brad Johnson.

Lions/Texans: You know my whole "which 0-X team will be the first to win a game?" It's not going to be the Lions this week. Of course, it's not going to be the Bengals this week either. And the Parade of Suck continues.

Colts/Packers: I SOOO want to call Packers, but I don't think so. Colts.

Jets/Raiders: Jets. The Raiders are AWFUL, and Al Davis is INSANE. IN-SANE!

Browns/Redskins: Think the Browns can pull off two upsets? Me, either. Redskins.

Seahawks/Buccaneers: Buccaneers. The Seahawks have NO chance.

Broncos/Patriots: Broncos. The Patriots have NO chance. Who would've thought I'd be writing that 6 weeks ago? But it's true.

BYE: Eagles, Jaguars, Falcons, Cardinals.

16 October 2008

Sunday Schedule: October 19, 2008, aka BYE week

For my local peeps:

Game schedule for Sunday, October 19 will be:

1 pm - Cowboys/Rams and Giants/49ers. We beat both. Let's see what y'all can do.
4 pm - Skins/Browns.
8 pm - Seahawks/Buccaneers. Ugh.

Menu: we're going Big Easy with some etouffee. Et toi!

Here We Go Phillies, Here We Go!

I know this is a football blog, but WE'RE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES!

That is all.

2008 Week 6 Recap

Eagles at 49ers, Sunday, October 12, 2008

In attendance: just Chef Spouse, Shoegal and myself

Menu: guacamole, chicken noodle soup, cheese bread (thanks Shoegal!), chocolate chip cookies, and tequila

Stud of the Week: Juqua Parker (nee Thomas), who probably should have, like BWest, gone down on the 1. But hey, it was his first ever pick for a TD, so give the guy a break!

Man, by the end of the first half, I was really worried. Deja vu all over again, right? We start hot, then we completely fall apart in the second half. Defense can't stop, offense can't go. Dear God, when will we get BWest back? Dear God, why does our entire team always seem to ride on one guy?

And frankly, the third quarter didn't make me feel any better. How the hell are the JT O'SULLIVAN-led 49ers beating the pants off us? The tequila came out, the mood headed south...it was not pretty.

And then....the fourth quarter.


Did the D step up?


Did the O get it done?


I can haz this for the rest of the season, plz?

rocks out the breakdown, but all I can say is that the final score doesn't reflect the reality of the game. 40-26 looks like a blowout, which it was not, until the final 6 minutes (or less).

Chef Spouse made us some manhattans shortly before the BIG fourth quarter turn around. He made more right before the Cowboys lost to the Cardinals. Maybe bourbon is the answer? That would ROCK. I'm totally on board with that plan.

And who else was the big stud of the game? My boy, DMac of course. To quote philly.com
McNabb was 23-for-36 for 280 yards and a pair of touchdowns. He did get frustrated when the afternoon started to go sour. He had no Brian Westbrook, no Reggie Brown. Somehow, he got the job done, using Correll Buckhalter, DeSean Jackson, Baskett and a maybe a roll of duct tape.
And some WD-40. Any given team...any given week. And this week, it was us.

(And Tony Hunt is gone. Not that he was all that, but why is he gone and Lorenzo Booker is still an Eagle? And we got what for it?)

Around the rest of the NFL...

Rams over Redskins. Oh, my God. Guess the Skins aren't all that. Or Jim Haslett IS all that. Apparently the Rams should've ditched Linehan a LONG time ago.

Cardinals over Cowboys. Oh, my GOD! And man, did they get shnockered on injuries. HA! Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug. Also, do you think Tonyboy cried again? Cause that would be AWESOME. Raise your hand if you think Brad Johnson to TO is going to go well....mmm hmmm. Disaster written all over it. Maybe that ridonkulous outfit was a cry for help?

Browns over Giants. OH. MY. GOD. Did you see the return of craptacular INT Eli? Because I sure did. I missed the first part of the game because I was out. I walked in the front door, and Chef Spouse was all, "You will NOT believe this." My response? "The Giants are LOSING to the BROWNS?!?" Oh yeah! And it only got better.

Did you notice that we were the ONLY NFC East team to win this week? Did you notice that the other NFC East teams lost to teams they DEFINITELY should have beat? The Rams? First win. The Cardinals? OK, 4-2, but in the NFC West, which really doesn't count. The Browns? 2-3, and calling for Derek Anderson's/Romeo Crenel's head until Monday night. Oh yeah, it's good to be an Eagles fan this week.


Vikings over Lions. Also, boring game. Also, two crappy teams. How exactly did the Vikings manage to beat the Saints, again?

Falcons over Bears. Hm. Maybe we should be concerned about the Falcons. Yeah, I think so. Of course, Andy Reid is generally AWESOME the week after the bye. Hope that holds.

Saints over Raiders. Well duh. Also, Al Davis may be completely crazy. Also, forget the "may be."

Jets over Bengals. So we have to ask: which team will be the last to win? Bengals or Lions? I would've said Rams, but, well...Ocho Cinco, wouldn't you like to wear midnight green? Too late for this season....

Texans over Dolphins. In case I hadn't already mentioned it, it was a CRAZY week for the NFL. How many games were won in the last seconds? Vikings over Lions, Falcons over Bears, Texans over Dolphins, Rams over Redskins, Cardinals over Cowboys - that's a LOT, dude.

Bucs over Panthers. OK, maybe I was wrong about Jeff Garcia being finished.

Colts over Ravens. Big time. Ouch.

Jags over Broncos. I shouldn't have been so quick to doubt. Sorry, Jags. I won't doubt again. Until you manage to lose to the Lions or something. Also, Cutler? Not John Elway. Not by a long shot. Get a hold of yourself, Junior.

Packers over Seahawks. Man, it's a shame that Holmgren and Hasselbeck are going out this way.

Chargers over Pats. The Chargers started looking like the Chargers on Sunday night. Meanwhile, the Pats started looking like the Pats...without Tom Brady. I didn't even bother to watch the end.

15 October 2008


What is this? A contest with Clinton Portis to see who can look more ridiculous? (I think TO's winning....)

And speaking of the Cowboys, shout out to Michael Wilbon for being the first to predict their immanent downfall. You know it, knuckleheads!

14 October 2008

News on Many Fronts

Interesting weekend in the NFC East - we pulled off a win that was a lot closer than the final score reflects, and the Giants, Skins, and Cowboys all went down to teams they should've beat. Recap will be posted tonight, but it's nice to see that DMac's Come to Jesus speech worked and that we finally got a break in the division.

Also, Tonyboy's broken finger puts him out for games against the Rams (Are they a threat? Hard to say now....), the Bucs, and the Giants. So that's bad for them, good for us.

Also, both the Cowboys and the Skins will be looking for new punters - Cowboys due to injury, Skins due to suckitude.

Also, go Phillies! It's beginning to look a lot like World Series.....

Also, Chicks Talkin' Trash is moving to 7:30 pm EDT at least next week - not sure about the schedule going forward, but I'll be sure to provide updates as I have them.

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09 October 2008

2008 Week 6 Picks

Eagles/49ers. You know, it really worries me that I'm even worried about this game. The 49ers play in the execrable NFC West. And they're 2-3 out there. Which is a whole different ball of wax than 2-3 in the NFC East (I hope). They've only managed to beat the Seahawks and the Lions, so they haven't even beaten a good team this year. But there you have it - I'm worried.

One of the biggest things I'm worried about is Frank Gore. Anyone else? After seeing how Clinton Portis shredded our defense for a million gazillion yards (actual yardage: 145, but still, a lot - and over 200 for the team) last week, I am worried.

Another thing I'm worried about? David Akers. I don't know what is up there, but it's not good.

I'm also worried about BWest, or, to be more precise, our likely complete lack of BWest on Sunday.

I'm worried that Shawn Andrews isn't back yet, and doesn't seem to be getting any better.

I'm worried that we're sinking into a hole so deep that only a fireman without a collarbone is going to be able to save us.

I'm worried.

McNabb finally called out the team (and himself). Hm. Maybe he DID end up going up and down the bench stopping in front of each receiver and saying, "Catch the ball when I throw it to you, Donkey!" I hope it's not too late. Oh, I don't mean like, "it's too late for the team to pull it together and start winning some games." It's not too late for that. I mean like, "it's too late to even contend for a wild card spot, because the NFC East is going to take both, and we're already too far behind."

So do I think we win this game? Um, yes. Did you miss the part about the 49ers being 2-3 in the NFC WEST above? Or the fact that they're currently playing JT O'Sullivan at QB?

But this entry should have read nothing more than:
Eagles/49ers: Eagles.
And we're not there. No way.

Bengals/Jets: Jets. Bengals suck. 0-6, here we come. Bet they're counting the minutes until the bye week in Cincinnati.

Raiders/Saints: Saints. The Raiders also suck, and they've been with their new head coach for, like, a minute. Also, Tom Cable is an UPGRADE?

Ravens/Colts: How are you feeling Peyton? Good? Knee's doing better? Enjoy it now, because Monday morning, you're not going to be able to get out of bed. Ravens. Who may give Peyton back in pieces. (Also, the more I look at it, the more I conclude that there is NO WAY Reggie Wayne had both feet down on that game winning TD last week. Which I pointed out on Chicks Talkin' Trash, although I confused Joseph Addai and Reggie Wayne. Bad Snark! No donut!)

Redskins/Rams: Skins. I think it's time to start a pool: which will be the last winless team? Bengals, Rams, Texans, and Lions are your choices. No way is it the Texans. I'm thinking the Rams are looking like the winners/losers here.

Dolphins/Texans: Of course, the Texans won't challenge this week, I don't think. Unless they tie Ronnie Brown's shoelaces together. Dolphins.

Bears/Falcons: This should be a good game. I'm going with the Bears on a hunch, but this one could do either way.

Lions/Vikings: OK, the Vikings got lucky over the Saints, but it's not going to take luck this week. All it will take is showing up at the right time and place and in uniform. And honestly, they probably don't even need the WHOLE team. Just a quorum. Vikings.

Panthers/Buccaneers: My sleeper pick for wildcard is looking good (actually, they're looking so good, they're looking like serious division contenders)! And Jeff's strapping on the pads again Sunday. Panthers.

Jaguars/Broncos: The stats say Broncos, but I'm going with the Jags as my upset pick of the week.

Packers/Seahawks: Packers, even if ARodg is hurt. Yes, the Seahawks are THAT bad.

Cowboys/Cardinals: Sigh. Cowboys.

Patriots/Chargers: Wow, when they were setting the schedules for 2008, this probably sounded like a great matchup - Patriots/Chargers on Sunday Night Football! Week 6! Woo-hoo! Yeah, now I probably won't even stay up to see the end of the game.

Giants/Browns: Sigh again. Giants. At least I have early evening plans so I won't have to watch the entire game.

BYE: Bills (who will use the downtime to try to help Trent Edwards find his head, which got knocked off last week), Chiefs (who will use the downtime to try to figure out how to dig themselves out of their 1-4 start or if it makes more sense to phone in the rest of the season and snag the top draft pick), Steelers (who will use the downtime to try to get everyone healthy and learn how to stop SOMEONE...ANYONE from hitting Ol' Groceries), Titans (who will use the downtime praying that Vince Young stays injured)

Sunday Schedule: October 12, 2008

For my local peeps:

Game schedule for Sunday, October 12 will be:

1 pm - normally, I would say Skins/Rams, but I don't think I can force myself to watch another Rams game this season. So probably Panthers/Bucs or possibly Ravens/Colts.
4 pm - Eagles/49ers. A must win for us. Just like last week. And the Bears game. Oy.
8 pm - Pats/Chargers. A far less exciting prospect than when the schedules were created.

Menu: chicken noodle soup. Bring something to go with!

06 October 2008

2008 Week 5 Recap

Eagles v. Redskins, Sunday, October 5,2008

In attendance: Chef Spouse, Shoegal, Ex-Navy Cheesehead (Steelers Transplant was over in the am for brunch after running the Army 10 Miler, but had to leave before gametime. So he was spared watching the craptocity.)

Menu: Ex-Navy Cheesehead brought over some shrimp and crudities, and Chef Spouse made his famous cream of tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. The miracle is that I managed to stay out of the tequila.

Stud of the Week: Well, that didn't take long. Yes, Mr. Saverio Rocca was the only consistent performer all game.

Well, that was THE SUCK. F-ing Greg Lewis. The Idiot Twins (aka Troy Aikman and Joe Buck, who are now officially nicknamed) called out D-Mac for not doing enough to "pump up" the offense. Um, what's he supposed to do? Go up and down the bench when the offense is off-field stopping in front of each receiver and saying, "Catch the ball when I throw it to you, Donkey!"?

Also, LJ Smith. F-ing LJ Smith.

You know, the thing is, our first drive was poetry. And after that, um, prose? Bad prose. Danielle Steele prose. Fabio's-on-the-cover-romance-novel level prose. Our offense died right after DeSean's punt return TD that would've been called back had the zebras not gotten their #50s confused.

And once again, we couldn't make the big plays on D when we needed them. Anybody know where Asante Samuel went? I mean, I see a guy on the field wearing number 22, but it sure doesn't look like the Asante I remember.

Domo gave the overall game a D. I think he must be grading on a curve.

And, to add injury to insult, West36 fractured ribs on Sunday. Well, that just caps it. goeagles99 doesn't think we should panic (yet - and he does point out one of our major continuing issues, which is inconsistent commitment to the run, leaving the opposing teams' defenses way too fresh at the end of the game), but I'm calling it: this is the death-knell of our season. 2-3 wouldn't be disastrous in any other division, but in the NFC East and no BWest until his ribs heal? It may be over already, baby, unless the other teams stumble on their own. Now that TO's started his usual bullshit, that might happen the Cowboys (please God!), and Giants aren't all that (see below), but honestly, we should be WAY worried about the Redskins.

On a happier note, congrats to the Phillies, who go on to face the Dodgers in the NLCS.

Around the rest of the NFL...

Dolphins over the Chargers: Told ya! That direct snap to Ronnie Brown is working out REALLY well for the Fins this season. They may not even need a QB.

Titans over Ravens: And I'm right again! Also, this was the smash-mouth game everyone expected. Also, that was not roughing the passer on Terrell Suggs. His forearm bounced off Kerry Collins' shoulder pads. I know I complain about the officiating pretty much every week, but honestly. These guys are paid to be able to spot stuff like this. It's not THAT hard! And had that horrible call not gone through, probably a Ravens win.

Bears over Lions: And again! (OK, this one was a gimme.)

Giants over Seahawks: And again! (Also another gimme.) When do the Giants have to play an actual team? Sure, they're 4-0, but the Skins started slow (the season, games, whatever), and since then, they've faced the Rams, the Bengals, and the Seahawks, 3 teams with a combined record of 1-11. And next week, they play the frappin' BROWNS! Who are 1-3! Does this seem unfair to anyone but me? Shouldn't the defending champs have to play a team with a winning record at SOME point?

Panthers over Chiefs: And again! As I pointed out to Ex-Navy Cheesehead early in the 1 pm games, the question in this contest won't be who wins, it will be, will the Chiefs score any points at all? Answer: no. That's a shame.

Falcons over Packers: I got this one right, too, but that was more a hunch than anything else. Matt Ryan was finally able to win one on the road, though. And I think ARodg is more hurt than the Pack is letting on. And losing Al Harris certainly hasn't helped things at Lambeau. The Bears just might step back up to the head of the NFC North this year.

Cowboys over Bengals: I didn't want to be right about this one, and the Bengals did show signs of life in the second half. Unfortunately, they really are that bad, and despite the Cowboys' many mistakes, the Bengals couldn't capitalize. Sound like any(Eagles)one (versus Bears) you know?

Broncos over Bucs: Called this one, too. So apparently, Brian Griese really is that important. And Jeff Garcia really is done. And the Broncos vaunted offense might not be worthy of all the hype (ours either). But the Chiefs thing was apparently an aberration, as I suspected.

Colts over Texans: OK, I did NOT call this one right, but in all fairness, I had it through 57 minutes of football, until the Texans pretty much imploded on the field. For God's sake, all they had to do was, oh, I don't know, NOT TURN THE BALL OVER THREE TIMES IN FOUR MINUTES. Doesn't seem too much to ask, but apparently it was. But when your QB is named after an herb, that's not a good sign.

Pats over 49ers: The 49ers gave the Pats a run for their money, at least in the first half. Matt Cassel really isn't that good, and he and Randy Moss mostly don't really seem to be on the same page, and in the end, it didn't matter. Yes, the NFC West really is THAT bad. Except....

Cardinals over Bills: WTF? Seriously. Trent Edwards is critical? Whisenhunt seemed to have the AFC North's number last year, even if his Cards couldn't beat anyone else, but is he moving on to the AFC East? What happened?

Steelers over Jaguars: At the LAST minute. Exciting game, though. Big Ben's been sacked so many times this year, they're going to have to change his nickname to "Groceries." I think JMad has a little man crush on David Garrard. He must've talked about his calves for a full minute. Isn't that sweet?

Saints/Vikings: Game's about to start, dinner's ready, and there's a cocktail waiting for me. Check you tomorrow on Chicks Talkin' Trash. Geaux Saints!

Chicks Talkin' Trash - UPDATE!

This week's installment has been postponed until TUESDAY, OCTOBER 7 at 6:30 pm EDT because the Saints are playing on MNF. So tune in tomorrow night and hear me call out Greg Lewis and a whole bunch of other suckers!

03 October 2008

Chicks Talkin' Trash, Part 2

In case you were wondering (I know I was), this will be a weekly show. So tune in Monday, October 6 at 6:30 pm EDT to hear me dish the Eagles/Skins game.

02 October 2008

2008 Week 5 Picks

I'm sitting here, Veep debate on the telly, Gibson in hand (because this seems like it's going to require large quantities of alcohol), ready to dish week 5 of the 2008 season.

Let's kick it off with...Eagles/Skins. How the worm has turned. This game is important for the Skins, critical for us. Shaun Springs is out - good for us. Westy may be out, too - good for them. We're playing in Philly - good for us. The Skins just beat Dallas - maybe good for us. Could the Skins be in for a letdown? We've shown that we can bring the hot offense, we've shown that we can shut good teams down on defense - we haven't been able to do both in the same game yet, but...

"Good teams find ways to win close games." Sure, but that's circular logic. What other type of games to win is there? Not close games, aka "blowouts." And either way, you're winning. Which is generally considered to be a reliable measure of good teams.

What's my point? I'm not really sure, other than I'm way more worried about Sunday than I thought I'd be a month ago. The NFC East is HARD, dog!

I'm hoping for a win Sunday, but, frankly, I'm worried.

Titans/Ravens: Damn, this should be a good game. Who would've thought Kerry Collins would lead the Titans to the top of the AFC South, four weeks into the season? And, despite their OT loss to the Steelers in week 4, the Ravens are looking good this year. Were our game not running opposite, this is THE GAME I would watch at 1 pm. I think Titans will win it, but I also think it's going to be a GREAT game. This one might be worth TiVoing.

Chiefs/Panthers: This one won't. Panthers.

Bears/Lions: Nor will this. Bears.

Falcons/Packers: Will ARodg play? Unknown at this point. And Al Harris is done for the year. And Matt Ryan hasn't looked as brilliant lately. Of course, the Packers are leading NFC North at 2-2, and the Falcons are at the bottom of the NFC South at 2-2. And I would say that, at least at this point, NFC South is a tougher division. So that means Falcons. I think.

Colts/Texans: Hm - so how did the early bye serve Peyton's sore knee? The Texans are 0-3, but playing well, and the Colts...I'm going with the Texans, as my upset pick. Also, I think the balance of power in the AFC South may be shifting...south.

Chargers/Dolphins: A month ago, would there have been any doubt about a Chargers win? No. Now? I'm going with another upset pick - Dolphins. Hey Ricky stayed off the ganga in the bye week - that has to be a good sign!

Seahawks/Giants: The Giants are not all that. The Seahawks are the suck in the NFC West. Another Giants win? You know it!

Buccaneers/Broncos: Another interesting game. The Broncos have had a hot offense. Until they lost to the Chiefs (oh, the humanity!). The Buccaneers have...Brian Griese. Who wasn't good enough to QB in Chicago. Yeah, I think the Broncos get their sexy back this week.

Bills/Cardinals: Bills. Don't even bother to watch this. There's no point

Bengals/Cowboys: Chad Ocho Cinco Johnson is pissed about the Bengals 0-4 start. Prepare to get more pissed, Ocho. Because you're going to 0-5. Cowboys.

Patriots/49ers: I don't think the Pats have sunk so low that they'll lose to the 49ers. But you never know. Pats.

Steelers/Jaguars: Now this is what I call a Sunday night game! Steelers, but I think it's going to be a BATTLE.

Saints/Vikings: Saints, baby!

BYE: Browns, Jets, Raiders (who will use the time to adjust to their new coach), Rams (likewise, and not that it's likely to either team much good)

Sunday Schedule: October 5, 2008

For my local peeps:

Game schedule for Sunday, October 5 will be:

1 pm - Eagles/Redskins. BIG game.
4 pm - probably Bengals/Cowboys (although Buccaneers/Broncos will be a much better game)
8 pm - Steelers/Jaguars - Steelers get two prime time games in a row! But they're probably worth it.

Menu: Chef Spouse tells me he feels inspired to make cream of tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Oh yeah - it's fall!

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01 October 2008

Once an asshat...

Always an asshat.

In the wake of the Redskins celebration on the Texas Stadium star on Sunday (which, by the way, was NOT bush league - I thought it was a fitting farewell to a place many of us have come to hate over the years), video of TO doing exactly the same while he played for the 49ers has been circulating.

As Shoegal pointed out, "The link to the youtube of TO showboating on the Cowboys star when he was with the 49ers and getting clocked by Teague is priceless. Once an asshole, always an asshole. Those folks in Texas have short memories."

Yes, yes, they do.