03 September 2008

2008 Week 1 Picks

The first week of the season is tough. It's hard to make predictions, because all I have to go on is the preseason, where even if you can see the games (thanks a lot, super expensive Sunday Ticket! Where my pre-season games at, you punks?), when the first team plays, they're playing at half speed, and most of the time it's a competition between the practice squads.

But I'm still going to make predictions, because that's what I do.

Eagles/Rams: OK, we almost never win the first game of the season. 2007? Loss to the Packers. 2006? Win, but it was over the Texans. 2005? Loss to the Falcons. 2004? We beat the Giants, but we also went 13-3 and to the Super Bowl that year. 2003? Loss to the Buccaneers. In the first game in our new stadium. The first game of the season is not kind to us. But the Rams are not a good team. Eagles.

Redskins/Giants: The Giants are missing Osi and Michael and Jeremy (although I'm not really sure that last one hurts them). The Skins survived the preseason mostly unscathed. I predicted that the Giants won't repeat this year - not even a playoff appearance. Guess what? The Giants are still winning this game.

Seahawks/Bills: The best team in a bad NFC division and the third best team in a bad AFC division. Tough call. I'll go with the Seahawks, but it's a weak buy recommendation.

Texans/Steelers: The Texans have slowly been getting better, and they are hampered by playing in a strong division. But they aren't that much better. Steelers.

Bucs/Saints: Saints. I did pick them to win the division, and God owes them after this week.

Lions/Falcons: The Lions suck, but they are at least recognizably a football team. Lions. Also, the Worst Game of the Week.

Jags/Titans: This, on the other hand, is probably the best game of the week. Or at least in the top 5. I'm picking Jags, also because I picked them to win their division, but this one should be fun to watch.

Jets/Dolphins: Please, God, tell me that these two teams have gotten at least somewhat better in the off-season. At least Chad Pennington landed on his feet, and I'm guessing he'll want payback after being unceremoniously dumped in favor of Vicodin Boy. I'm calling Dolphins, in an upset pick, mostly because I don't think Brett knows the Jets offense yet and I suspect Chad's pretty pissed off at this point.

Bengals/Ravens: Injured Ocho Cinco versus complete lack of QB. Hmmmm.....this could be one low scoring game. I'll go Ravens in a nod to my many Ravens-fan friends, but this is another case where it's likely to come down to Bad versus Worse.

Chiefs/Patriots: Patriots. Even if Tom Brady doesn't play and Belechick has to QB the team himself.

Cardinals/49ers: Oy. Cardinals.

Panthers/Chargers: Chargers. But I don't think the Panthers will go down without a fight.

Cowboys/Browns: Probably Cowboys, but I'm pulling for/calling the Browns (particularly since I think they're going to win their division). Think Tonyboy will cry this early in the season, or do you think he's saving it for the playoffs?

Bears/Colts: Colts. Please.

MNF - OK, I know this is my East Coast bias showing, but Monday night double headers kill me! Some of us have to go to work in the morning!

Vikings/Packers: Vikings. But good luck, Aaron. I'm glad you're finally getting to play. As perhaps the oldest rookie QB in the history of football, but still.

Broncos/Raiders: Broncos.

Or, you could go to the experts at ESPN. Many of whom agree with me. But then again, any given game with any given expert has a 50/50 chance, so that's not really saying much.


Anonymous said...

Your Ravens fan friends get the shout-out pick, but no love for your Skins fan friend(s?)... I'd almost think you have NFC East jealousy or something.
- WebSkinz (new made up name, aka Keith)

Anonymous said...

Jets/Dolphins: There you go again, picking on Vicodin Boy:>) I may just have to crush a few of my vicodin tablets to put around the rim of our margaritas.

Anonymous said...

@WebSkinz: did you see the final 3 pre-season games? Also, Mike Tomlin aside, first seasons with new head coaches tend to be a little, um, rough.

@Jets/Dolphins: MMMmmm....Vicodin margaritas....

Anonymous said...

Okay, let's just be clear.

The Giants WILL MAKE the playoffs.

The Eagles WILL NOT win the division, and I don't think they will make the playoffs either.


Anonymous said...

@G-Men Jeff: only time will tell, but most of the sports commentators agree with me. Which probably means you're right ;-)

Unknown said...

I like the Dolphins pick. Chad has taken a lot of knowledge about the Jets and hand-delivered it to The Tuna. It's the next-best thing to filming other teams' signals.

I'm glad to see you started your own blog. You cannot be contained!

Anonymous said...

@rocketman: gotta have at least one wild-ass pick each week, right? I'm not sure that "pissed-off Chad Pennington" really strikes fear in the heart of, well, anyone, but it can't hurt.