25 October 2006

One bright spot...

...in an otherwise down week (Dear ESPN: I will pay you $1000 to stop showing footage of Bryant's game-winning FG. I will pay you $2000 to stop showing footage of Ronde Barber's picks): the Cowboys lost, and lost BAD, on MNF.

Chef Spouse, still on business in the Big Apple, was unable to watch the game, so I was sending him text messages of all the key plays. The Cowboys boneheaded decisions were, at some points, coming so fast and furious I could barely keep up. Their O-line leaks like a sieve, Drew "Statue of Liberty" Bledsoe is about as mobile as my 83 year old grandma who's due to have knee replacement surgery this Friday, TO whined and complained and then dropped a CRITICAL 4th down pass that landed right on his numbers while he was wide open (and, as Chef Spouse noted, Coughlin could have challenged his one TD, since he didn't maintain control of the football to the ground), if Tony "Pick, Pick, Pick" Romo is the future of the team, that bright light is in fact an oncoming train, the D gave up WAY too many big plays (and Eli Manning is not exactly, well, D-Mac) - even their "directional" place kicker screwed up.

It was a through disaster - and I was ready with my marshmallows to toast over the conflagration of their season. The cheerleaders looked good, though.

At one point (I think after Romo's third pick), the camera panned to Parcells. Now normally, he's a pretty expressive guy. Last night, he just looked stunned. You could almost see a thought-bubble forming over his head: "WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS?"

You know, there were rumors that Parcells was going to retire after last season. Bet he's wishing he could get a do-over on that decision right now.

And Drew Bledsoe's just been massively humiliated on national TV. Even if Parcells isn't planning to make Romo his #1 after last night, what do you think are his chances of getting good effort out of Bledsoe again this season? I think "zero" might be too generous.

In conclusion, I like Emmit Smith, too, but could we PLEASE stop talking about DANCING WITH THE censored.gif STARS? There's a GAME going on. If your commentators don't know enough about football to actually CALL the GAME, maybe you should think about REPLACING them. MNF is starting to stand for MUTED Night Football chez Angry Redhead.

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