09 October 2006

2006 Week 5 Recap

Eagles v. Cowboys, Sunday, October 8, 2006

In attendance: Life-Long Eagles Fan Mom, Man of the Hour You-Two-Calm-Down-Or-I'm-Turning-Off-the-TV Dad, Shoegal, Ex-Navy Cheesehead, Chef Spouse, Deadhead Skins Fan and Deadhead Skins Fan's Spouse. Full house.

Menu: I outdid myself. Chef Spouse didn't cook this week. Brats in beer, sauerkraut, homemade bread, homemade apple pie, vanilla ice cream - all the birthday boy's favorites.

It's a good day any time Dallas loses. It's a great day when we're the ones who beat them.

Skins fans and Eagles fans sharing a living room in harmony. "C'mon people, now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, gotta hate on the Cowboys right now."

What a hot start! Although I hated settling for 3 when it should have been 7 on the second series, there's not a lot you can do when the zebras totally ignore BLATANT holding (Ware) on the guy who was CLEARLY the intended receiver for the play (LJ Smith). D-Mac was steamed about the missed call, too. And he's usually good about rolling with whatever the calls are.

D-Mac must be giving opposing D coordinators fits this season. "OK, I have to bring pressure on McNabb. But that leaves too many people open downfield. So who's their number one wideout, so I can double-cover him? Hmm...I need to double-cover everyone. Uh-oh. And what about Westbrook? OK, so jam Westbrook at the line. But if we over-commit, McNabb will just run it himself. Or complete a 60 yard bomb to some rookie I never even heard of. ARGH!!! I need a drink!"

I think I've figured out why the no huddle works so well for us. McNabb is #1 in the NFL in passes over 20 yards, TDs over 20 yards, passes over 30 yards, and TDs over 30 yards. What's the point of huddling up when every play is: "Westy and Buck, you guys hang back in case I have to dump it. Everybody else, hit the afterburners and go long. Break." Who needs a huddle?

Downside? Exhausted D. You could see it on their faces: "Aw man, I just sat down. Y'all scored already? I haven't even had a chance to get me some Gatorade!" Mondays for the O: Party at Runyan's! Mondays for the D: Sleep late. Breakfast. Nap. Lunch. Nap. Dinner. Nap. Dessert. MNF. Halftime nap. Bedtime snack. Lights out. So THAT'S why we have two entire starting-level defensive lines.

One thing everyone Chez Angry Redhead remarked on after the first quarter is that neither team seemed to be playing much D. And then we came out after the half and said "NO MORE" and made it stick. At some point, I just wanted to yell, "Stay down!" to Bledsoe, like Burgess Meredith in Rocky. Does anyone hang tougher than us in the red zone? You may get close, you may get a field goal, you MAY NOT get in the endzone. Do not pass go, do NOT win that game.

Our receiving corps is really young, which is why I'm not tearing them a new one for all the dropped passes. Yet. Guys, you KNOW that D-Mac throws HARD. Don't act surprised and flake out every time he zings a hot one right into your hands.

You know TO has to be going crazy after all the smack he talked last year about Big D - that he was washed up and the Eagles would be better with Favre at QB and whatever other dumb a** stuff came out of his constantly yapping mouth. McNabb's leading the league in passing yards and TDs, throwing to Westy, a second year guy, two rookies, a new guy who came in one week before the season started, a guy who before last week had only caught one TD pass in entire his career, and LJ Smith. So it turns out that D-Mac can make it work with pretty much anyone...except big whiners. Could've been one of the great QB/WR pairings in history, but T-NO was just too dumb to see it.

Meanwhile, The Player was a total non-factor. JJ held Dawk back for help, but had Captain ME! covered all game by Joselio Hanson, a second year guy we picked up from NFL Europe. He spent his rookie year on the 49ers practice squad. And got cut. By the 49ers. That's the killer who jammed TO all day.

As an astute Eagles fan observed on WIP, "There's no 'I' in team, but there IS an 'I' in idiot."

Stats? TO had 3 catches for 45 yards and no TDs. Lito Sheppard had 2 catches for 102 yards and a TD. Guess that ankle's feeling better. Did you see everybody lovin' on him (including the normally unflappable AR)? Awwwww....group hug!

In the post-game interview, Bledsoe, referring the final Cowboys play, in which he was clearly trying to stick it to Philly by throwing the game-tying TD to TO, remarked, "That's not what it looked like in practice." You're kidding! You mean you didn't plan to say, "Hey, Philly, up yours," only to have Lito Sheppard respond, "Ha-ha. Not in MY house," and make your big crybaby look bad?

To quote Pouty McWhiney Pants' postgame interview: "You watched the game? Who is pulling the trigger? I'm just out there doing my job. I'm not trying to point any fingers at anyone. But you guys know just as well as I know." Let the savaging of the QB begin! Have fun, Tuna. He also remarked: "Like I said, we win together, you lose together." Interesting Freudian slip there, hm? We win, but you lose.

To sum up, I quote Andy Reid: "I might be the happiest chubby guy in Philadelphia right now - especially since Shawn Andrews lost all that weight." Amen, Big Red (particularly because You-Two-Calm-Down-Or-I'm-Turning-Off-the-TV Dad was in DC at the time). innocent.gif

Around the rest of the NFL, I did better in my picks this week. Go me!

Deadhead Skins Fan and Deadhead Skins Fan's Spouse were here for the 1 pm Skins/Giants game. Yikes, did the Skins look flat. That big win last week just cost too much.

The Bears, as predicted, stomped the Bills. I think that late 7 points was pity - or maybe the Bears just didn't bother to take the field on that series. My crystal ball predicts we'll see the Bears in a tough post-season matchup. Vikings had more trouble than I thought they would with the Lions, but had a HUGE 4th quarter and pulled it out.

Just in case I didn't say it enough times last year (because apparently I didn't), BRETT FAVRE, PAY ATTENTION: RETIRE ALREADY. THAT IS ALL. Move into the old QBs home. Start building model airplanes. Count your millions. Learn flower arranging. Get ESPN to hire you - they LURVE you. Do I need to book a sky writer?

Big shocker of the day? Titans almost beat the Colts. I know! Freaky, huh?

Panthers beat the Browns, as expected. Saints beat the Bucs, as expected. Props to Reggie Bush on his first NFL TD. (Know who else had his first NFL TD? Mr. Hank Baskett! Go Hank!) I love me some Saints, but we're coming for y'all next week! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Dolphins pulled Culpepper "for injury" (yeah right - too embarrassed to admit you blew $8 million on a dud is more like it) and Joey Harrington didn't fare much better against the Pats. Who else you got?

The Raiders actually scored some points, against the somewhat-less-terrible 49ers. Didn't help. Congrats to Randy Moss on his 100th TD though.

The Jags went buck-wild on the Jets. Did the Jets go to the wrong stadium or something? They scored NO points. It was almost as bad as our MNF debacle against the Seahawks last year.

Chiefs beat the Cards. Yawn.

OK, what the hell is wrong in Pittsburgh? Guys, it's supposed to be the Super Bowl losers who come back and stink up the joint, not the winners! Has Big Ben not recovered from all his off- and early-season mishaps? Have they just lost too many players? Is Cowher eyeing the door? Shout out to the Chargers for rockin' the groovy throw-backs.

And it's POURING in Denver. Tough defensive game so far, as expected. Could go either way, but I think the Ravens will take this one. But I do have one question: WHY ARE THEY INTERVIEWING SOME censored.gif FROM DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES?!? WHO FRAPPIN' CARES?

Edited to add: Boy, was I wrong about that one! Did the Ravens and Broncos switch QBs at some point? Because McNair sure looked a lot more like Jake the Mistake than himself at the end of both halves. And who thinks anyone, up to and including Superman, is going to beat Champ Bailey on a jump ball? What kind of boneheaded call was that? Bears and Colts are now the only undefeated teams, but that won't help the Colts when Peyton Manning falls apart in the playoffs as usual.

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