25 September 2006

2006 Week 3 Recap

Week 3: Eagles at 49ers, Sunday, September 24, 2006

In attendance: Ex-Navy Cheesehead and Shoegal, fresh off her successful triathalon.

Menu: Chef Spouse was uninspired this week. He did make homemade guacamole, but we ended up ordering pizza.

About the game? Well, that's MUCH better. You know, when I'm shrieking like a banshee, Chef Spouse is fond of reminding me that AR can't hear me. Sez you! I picture it like that scene from the Waterboy where Adam Sandler isn't even lining up - he's pacing back and forth behind the line of scrimmage, listening to the voices that make up his "tackling fuel." And then he charges across the line and pretty much takes some guy's head off. I'm convinced that's what happened this week. AR's not schizophrenic - he's just channeling me.

Loved the opening trick play - so out of character for Mr. Serious, but such a great idea! Once again, we got out to a huge lead. When our O is clicking, they are looking pretty unstoppable. My boy D-Mac is so consistently excellent we take him for granted. My boy Westy, who played even with his sore knee and missing practice, put up over 100 yards and had THREE TDs. My boy Reggie caught a TD. My boy LJ is looking to have a breakout year. My boy Buck's actually played three whole games. Reno had some decent returns. D was looking good, too, even with all the early injuries we've suffered. Dawk is, as always, a beast (up until he got his clock cleaned). And it was a slow week - we only had 3 sacks. QBs who play us better learn to love the smell of grass, 'cause it's gonna be so far up their sinuses, that's all they'll smell for a month.

Seemed like it was half time before you knew it, and we were up 24-3. Know what it reminded me of? Last week.

Then there was the second half. The wheels came off. Again. Now I know why Donte Stallworth wasn't playing - they needed somebody fast to chase down the wheels and help the pit crew jam them back on quick before the whole game went to hell. The third quarter was just weird - we had negative yards on offense, then there was the D's goal line stand led by some sick plays by Dawk and Mike Patterson's "run" (I use the term loosely) back of the fumble. I think he trundled straight off the field to the sideline to take a little nap. Credit to Alex Smith for running back and thinking about trying to tackle him, but fortunately for him he was tripped up by Quentin Mikell. Dude, it's not smart to try to stop a freight train with your bare hands.

But the good was mixed in with dumb mistakes and dumb penalties and our offense apparently kickin' back with umbrella drinks on the sideline. Guys? Game's not over yet. And then Chef Spouse's boy Akers misses another FG (39 yards this time), which is starting to freak me out. We've won a lot of games on his leg. First he was going wide right and now he's going wide left. ARGH! At least we didn't need the points this time, but this is not a good trend. But don't worry, David, you're still Chef Spouse's boy.

And let's talk about the end of the game. 49ers are down by 3 TDs with 5 minutes left. We manage to keep their drive going by more dumb penalties, and then they go on this totally asinine final push. Two minutes left, out of time outs, down 21 points, and they're still running major plays. Sure, they got a meaningless TD and only lost by 14. Maybe I'm a little over sensitive because of what happened to The Freak last week, but let's play this out another way. It's mathematically impossible for the 49ers to win. They keep playing for points and get them, and their QB sustains a season-ending injury. Sorry, I understand it made the home crowd happy, but it was just incredibly foolish.

And speaking of dumb penalties, ever notice how no matter what opposing Ds do to McNabb, it (almost) never gets called, but if one of our guys taps Alex Smith on the shoulder as he's releasing the ball, it's an automatic 15 yard roughing the passer penalty? I know D-Mac's big and strong and Alex Smith is, comparatively, a skinny little white guy, but come on! Just because D-Mac's as big and strong as a linebacker doesn't mean he is a linebacker.

Around the rest of the NFL...

I was right about one part of the Jags/Colts game - it was a low-scoring game. But the Jags couldn't pull it out. But they did just about shut down Peyton. If it hadn't been for a lucky run back on a punt...ah well, I still think they'll win the division.

Chicago managed to squeak a very exciting win over the Vikings. Panthers managed to squeak a very exciting win over the Bucs. Ravens managed to squeak a very exciting win over the Browns. These were all a lot closer than I'd predicted. But all the teams I picked won - thanks guys! I'm sure they did it just to make me happy. And Bengals beat the Steelers, who are really having a rough time of it this season. It's supposed to be the losers of the Super Bowl who have a terrible next season!

Speaking of, the Giants got STOMPED by the Seahawks. Seriously - Tiki Barber is two-dimensional now. Deion Branch seems to fitting in well in Seattle. Which is a good thing since word just came out that Shaun Alexander broke his foot and will be out for a few weeks. I think the Giants beat themselves, though. How many INTs did Manning throw again? 5? 18? 72? It was something crazy. And even with that, they managed to climb back into the game, albeit too late.

Am I the only one who's noticed that Jeremy Shockey seems to think he's Becks (minus Posh Spice)? Bet he has a footie poster on his bedroom closet door. And he's beating Coughlin to the punch on who gets thrown under the bus.

What is up with the Patriots? Tom Brady is playing like he's old and worn out. You're 29, man! Is he just bummed at the loss of all of his offensive targets? Did someone run over his puppy? Did Belichick get over-confident in his system and think he didn't need any good players to make it work? Did the devil show up early to collect on that pact?

Redskins totally dominated the Texans. In other news, Clinton Portis was back. This is not necessarily a good sign for the Redskins. They've spent about $9 gazillion on offensive players, and only one is any good? And Dan Snyder's supposed to be some business genius. Guess he used all his brain cells making all that money he keeps throwing at players who apparently can't play. Tony Kornheiser is a disaster as an announcer, but he is right about one thing: Snyder treats the Skins like he's running a fantasy football team.

Dolphins finally managed to win a game. Of course, the Titans just might be as bad as the Raiders, so it wasn't a major challenge. Dante Culpepper managed to avoid throwing any INTs for a change, but he also stuck with his plan of avoiding throwing TDs too.

And then there's the "who cares?" games. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 400 TD passes. Big whoop. Brett Favre's thrown that many INTs this season. And the Packers beat the Lions. Whoop-de-do. Not gonna help 'em climb pass the Bears and Vikings. Jets beat Buffalo. I just can't seem to get excited about either team. Rams beat Cardinals, who've dumped Kurt Warner as starting QB in favor of Matt Leinert. If that doesn't work out, I hear Vinny Testaverde's free.

The Editor emailed me this afternoon to discuss the reopening of the Superdome. Both of us we in agreement - wish they'd knocked the place down. Too many bad memories. Morial Convention Center too. First time I went by each one when Chef Spouse and I went to Jazz Fest this spring, I burst into tears - and I'm not the weepy type. Swearing and throwing things, yes. Crying, not so much. But with the other financial struggles the city's going through, I know they couldn't. Given that, having the Saints playing in New Orleans again is a huge emotional boost to people. They've sold out their season tickets for the first time ever, so that's a good indication of the position the residents are taking on this, I think. And if they can reclaim the Superdome for something other than horror and death, more power to them.

You know, one of the interesting things about New Orleans culture is the whole idea of jazz funerals, the second line, and grieving and partying all at the same time. Maybe coming back to the Superdome fits in ways non-locals just can't understand.

PS: Saints are up 17-3 right now. Maybe that pick wasn't so dumb after all...

PPS: Saints WON! Decisively. Michael Irvin, you're a bigger idiot than Troy Aikman this week. Congratulations. No, the Falcons didn't throw the game because they felt bad for the Saints as you implied in your typically dense post-game commentary. You're just pissed because you were wrong. Again. Moron.

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