07 September 2015

2015 Divisional Picks

Although the 2015 season technically begins on Thursday, for us Eagles fans, it's t-minus one week and counting until we see if the proof truly is in the pudding, or if Chip Kelly really has gone around the bend.

Either way, it should be entertaining.

With the season about to start, it's time for to do my annual divisional picks, aka "The Post That Will SERIOUSLY Embarrass Me In January." Of course, in January when the regular season ends, I'll be in Aruba - yes, really - so I doubt I'll care. Well, OK, I'll care a little. But there will be sun, sand, surf, and rum drinks to take my mind off it, so there's that.

AFC East

You know, when the story of the "Great Dynasty" is written someday, I sure hope whoever writes it points out two things. One, the Patriots are BIG CHEATERS. Two, playing in a division that guarantees you six wins a year consistently sure makes it easier to get into the playoffs. Even if you have dumped a bunch of your star players (maybe that's where Chip got the idea?).

AFC North

I'm going with the Bengals again, despite the fact that their solid season last year came to a crashing halt when it met reality (aka "The Colts") in the playoffs.

AFC South

If Marcus Mariota is who he looks like he might be, things could get a lot tougher for the Colts soon. But not this year. See above RE: shitty division.

AFC West

I think Peyton Manning is really on the decline this time, and I think the Chiefs are surging. Or maybe I just can't quit Andy Reid.

AFC Wildcard

Ravens and Dolphins. What? Everyone else in the AFC East can't stay terrible forever, right?

NFC East

The Eagles are totally going to be an unstoppable juggernaut this year. 19-0, baby! Well, at least if they play the way they did in the first half of the preseason game with the Packers, they will. Which is pretty damn unlikely, but I still think they're the class of the NFC East once again. The only team that can contest, reasonably, is the Cowboys, and I just don't see it. Chip is like a guy who just dropped $20,000 on black in Vegas. Let's hope it hits.

NFC North

I know I'm writing a lot about quarterbacks here, but Aaron Rodgers is THE BEST QB in football at this point, in my opinion, and even without Jordy Nelson, that's probably enough for the Packers.

NFC South

Since I have literally no idea what happened in the NFC South this offseason, other than the Bucs drafting Jameis Winston, I'm going with the Saints for no other reason than my love of all things New Orleans.

NFC West

People (and by "people" I mean professional sportswriters) are still really high on the Seahawks, which is understandable given that they NEARLY repeated last year, but I'm pulling out my patented Crazy Pick and going with the Cardinals, who I think are on an upswing, even if Bruce Arians can be a big whiner.

NFC Wildcard

Seahawks (unless they win their division) and, much as it pains me to say it, Cowboys.

Team of Destiny

Tennessee Titans, perhaps influenced by the fact that I spent this weekend visiting friends in Nashville, and people there are SUPER excited about the team this year. Also, Marcus Mariota.

Want to read some fun pre-season commentary? Check out Deadspin's Why Your Team Sucks series (linked to the Eagles edition, for your convenience). And Grantland will be previewing all the teams in the  next few days (cellar dwellers are the only ones up as of this writing).


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