- Have a coronary
- Give myself a rage headache
- Yell at the TV for 3 solid hours
- Have to watch any games through my coat sleeve (Life-Long Eagles Fan Mom knows what I'm talking about)
- Scare my cat and/or Chef Spouse out of the room
- Drink myself into a state of not caring anymore
- Exhaust my full vocabulary of English swear words and have to start looking up new ones on the Internet
- Have to leave the house for several hours to calm down
To me, the MUCH bigger problems are Marty Mornhinweg and Bobby April. Shady gets 20+ touches = win. Shady gets less than 20 touches = loss. This is not complicated math. And how is it that the Eagles are ranked 27th in scoring with players like DeSean Jackson, Jeremy Maclin, LeSean McCoy, Mike Vick, and Brent Celek?And special teams has been a disaster so far this year. A DISASTER.
But Juan was vulnerable. So out he goes. We'll see what happens against Atlanta on October 28. It will certainly be a test of the defense, with the Falcons in the top 5 in scoring. And if it doesn't go well, we all (and in "we all" I include the Eagles players and coaching staff) have to wonder: who's next. Shit. I'm already giving myself a rage headache, and the game is 11 days off.
What? You wanted me to pick the games this week? Oh, all right:
Seahawks at 49ers: Well, after last week, I think I have a new rule: never pick against the Seahawks at home. But they're not AT home this week, are they? The two teams are surprisingly evenly matched (with the Niners with an edge in offense), but the 49ers are not going to drop two in a row at home. 49ers.
Titans at Bills: Both teams are coming off upset wins, so either (or both) could be in for a let down game. But I'm going with homefield and the Bills.
Cowboys at Panthers: The Cowboys should be able to right the ship - at least for one week - against the struggling Panthers. If they don't, I think Jason Garrett gets sacked. Hey, Jerry's fired head coaches during the season before...Cowboys.
Ravens at Texans: Last week aside, and it's a big aside, 'cause they got whupped, I gotta go with the Texans.
Browns at Colts: And the Browns winning streak ends at 1. Colts. Also Joe Banner has his work cut out for him.
Cardinals at Vikings: This should be a good game. Words I never would have written two months ago. I've got the Vikings.
Redskins at Giants: Really want to pick the Redskins, not least of which to keep the Giants from extending their lead over the Eagles. (Apparently, I still have hope. Pity me.) But I just don't see it. Giants.
Packers at Rams: Two months ago, I would've figured the Packers would dismantle the Rams, homefield or no homefield. Now? I've got the Rams.
Saints at Buccaneers: The Saints. I think. Fingers crossed.
Jets at Patriots: The Jets are dead men. Patriots.
Jaguars at Raiders: Raiders. The Jags are having yet another bad season.
Steelers at Bengals: The Steelers haven't won on the road yet this season. That should end this week. Steelers.
Lions at Bears: Upset pick. Lions.
On bye: The Eagles, thank God, and the Broncos, Chargers, Chiefs (who are DEAD to me), Dolphins, and Falcons.