Eagles at Browns: Eagles of course. This should be an easy win. Trust the Eagles to make it harder than it has to be, of course, but there's no excuse. They have to win the easy games this year, and if they blow this one, they might want to think about relocating to Cleveland. Permanently.
Cowboys at Giants: Giants. And more drama in Dallas. Also, the sun rose in the east this morning.
Colts at Bears: Bears. Rumor has it Brian Urlacher might not play, which would be a shame. Gotta let Andrew Luck know what he's in for, right?
Rams at Lions: Lions. Everyone's 0-0, and the Rams are still one of the worst teams in football.
Dolphins at Texans: Texans. Except for the Dolphins.
Falcons at Chiefs: Falcons. Oy, and the Chiefs.
Jaguars at Vikings: Jaguars. Blaine Gabbert HAS to be better this year, right?
Redskins at Saints: Poor RG3. What a lousy way to start your NFL career. Saints.
Bills at Jets: Bills. How long do you think it will take Jets fans to erect a billboard to Tim Tebow along 95?
Patriots at Titans: Patriots.
Seahawks at Cardinals: Cards? Who knows? Who cares? It's the first week, and it's already nearly a lock that these teams will be bottom feeders.
49ers at Packers: Now this is gonna be a game. I'm calling the Pack. despite my contention that the 49ers will win their division, because, come on, they aren't going to lose their home opener.
Panthers at Buccaneers: Panthers. Looking for a good year from Cam Newton.
Steelers at Broncos: Broncos. Unless someone knocks down Peyton a few times, because The Peyton does not care to be knocked down, of course.
Bengals at Ravens: Ravens.
Chargers at Raiders: Raiders. It's my upset pick.