Seriously, people, hold on to your hats. Jamal Jackson and Leonard Weaver are out for the season. Mike McGlynn's the center. The O-line is in turmoil. Stewart Bradley's recovering from a concussion.
Never fear! Mike Vick to the rescue - or Kevin Kolb - no, no Mike Vick. Definitely Mike Vick. At least for the next 10 minutes.
One thing that's marked the Andy Reid era in Philly is certainty. Agree with him or not, he always seems to know what he's doing. Actually, he doesn't care whether or not you agree with him. He prefers that you DON'T agree with him.
Well, the pundits have fallen in line and pretty much everyone's praising Reid's brilliance in promoting Vick to starter and benching K2. Brilliance, or recognition that we have serious problems on the O-line? Tomayto, tomahto.
All I know is that if Vick wants to keep his starting job, the team better win this week.
And I can't believe we're hanging the hopes of the franchise on someone who seems kind of unstable. Oh DMac, I miss you so.
Pick? Eagles - I was planning to spend this season laughing at our mis-steps while we tried to rebuild the team. Guess that will have to wait until next year, because at least through the first two weeks, the NFC East looks like it's someone's for the taking. Why not us?
Titans at Giants: Titans. Just a hunch, but I suspect Chris Johnson will have a big day.
Bengals at Panthers: Bengals. On the Always Pick the AFC rule alone. But Ochocinco needs to get his ass in gear. Less reality TV drama, more focus dude.
Steelers at Bucs: The Bucs have had a (brief) Cinderella ride to get to 2-0. It ends here. Steelers. Even with Charlie Batch under center.
Bills at Patriots: Everyone's saying that Trent Edwards needs to play better or risk getting benched. You know what's going to happen Monday? Trent Edwards is going to get benched. Patriots.
Browns at Ravens: Eventually, the Browns might face a team they could conceivably beat. But not this week.
49ers at Chiefs: The Chiefs Cinderella start ends this week, too. The 49ers are ripe to right their ship. OK, I guess that Always Pick the AFC rule isn't in effect 100% of the time.
Cowboys at Texans: The Cowboys totally need to win this game to keep their locker room - and fan base - from descending into absolute chaos. Next stop? Absolute chaos. Texans.
Lions at Vikings: The Vikings are, according to Favre, "desperate." Their answer? Hank Baskett. Wrong answer. This has "trap game" written all over it. Lions.
Falcons at Saints: Matt Ryan's another QB who needs to pick it up, but I don't see the Saints losing to divisional rival The Dirty Birds at home. Saints.
Redskins at Rams: Skins. Not only are they the new Team of Destiny, they're pretty good this year. And the Rams aren't. At all.
Colts at Broncos: Colts. Jeff Saturday's back, the O-line is working right again, Peyton's not getting hurried, and all is right in Indianapolis.
Raiders at Cardinals: Worst Game of the Week. What a mess. Raiders, with new QB Bruce Gradkowski.
Chargers at Seahawks: The Seahawks shocked the 49ers week one. Think they can do it again? Me neither. Chargers.
Jets at Dolphins: Game of the Week. Get your popcorn! Dolphins, but this is going to be a Battle Royale.
Packers at Bears: There's 2-0, and then there's 2-0. Packers