The story of this week is injuries. For everyone. It usually takes until about mid-season to rack up as many downed players as the NFL did in week 1. Did everyone forget to eat their Wheaties or something? And that list doesn't even show the guys whose seasons have been ended already.
Anyway, we head to Detroit to face the Lions this weekend. Mike Vick will be QB for at least one more week, Mike McGlynn's now our starting center, we signed Owen Schmitt so we'd have a full back, and (shout out to my friend David from TrueNorth), Omar Gaither will start at MLB in place of injured Stewart Bradley. At this rate, I calculate we'll be completely out of players by early December. But we should be able to pull off a win over a Lions team that's lost starting QB Matt Stafford to injury, too. And frankly, if we can't beat the Lions, I may need to revise that 6-10 prediction on our series down. Significantly.
Bills at Packers. No Ryan Grant for the rest of the season, but the Packers are a pass-first offense anyway. Aaron Rodgers should be able to lead them to a victory. Little tip, Bills? Watch out for Clay Matthews. He f-ed us up last weekend. Packers.
Ravens at Bengals. Given that I picked them to win the division, I think I'm going to have to go with the Ravens. But I am a little worried about their ability to put up enough points to keep up with "Batman and Robin" (yes, TO and Ochocinco have voluntarily chosen to call themselves that). Still, Ravens.
Steelers at Titans. Both teams looked surprisingly good last week. But I don't think the Steelers can shut down Chris Johnson. Titans.
Bears at Cowboys. The Cowboys played like the punks they are last week. But Jay Cutler's the biggest punk in football. And I don't see the Cowboys losing their home opener anyhow. Cowboys.
Buccaneers at Panthers. The Panthers aren't very good, but they're better than the Bucs. Panthers.
Cardinals at Falcons. The Cards won a game they absolutely should have last week. The Falcons lost a game they should've won. I think they're probably going to play pissed this week. Falcons.
Chiefs at Browns. Talk about a shocker! Chiefs over Chargers last week. Still can't believe it. What I can believe is that the Chiefs are going to 2-0 this week. Chiefs.
Dolphins at Vikings. Dolphins. Who I expect to get after Brett Favre big time.
Seahawks at Broncos. The Seahawks were another team that turned in a surprising opening week performance. Can they keep it up this week? I don't think so, although I'm digging coach Pete Carroll in the pro game. Broncos.
Rams at Raiders. Worst Game of the Week. Also, Raiders.
Texans at Redskins. Which of these teams is the real thing? Former Team of Destiny faces current Team of Destiny. It's a tough choice, but I think I'm going with the Texans. Although I wouldn't be surprised if the Redskins pull off another win. When DMac's under center, you can never count the team out. If you recall, the Eagles' best years were when we had lights-out D and McNabb provided 96.38% of the offense by himself. And I'm pretty sure Santana Moss can come up with at least 5% all by himself. Chris Cooley, too. Did I just talk myself into calling Redskins? Not quite, but almost.
Jaguars at Chargers. Did you hear that the Chargers home opener is being blacked out? Sack up, Chargers fans! Based on that alone, I have to pick the Jags.
Patriots at Jets. This is going to be an interesting game. Mark Sanchez looked downright pedestrian last week against the Ravens. Considering I didn't even pick the Pats to make the playoffs, I think I have to pick the Jets this week. But I'm doing it with a lot of trepidation.
Giants at Colts. Colts. No contest. Peyton schools his little brother's team once again. I get really annoyed by all the Manning v. Manning talk. They're both QBs - they're never even on the field at the same time. It's not really brother versus brother. You know what was brother versus brother? Giants versus Bucs a few years ago. Ronde was actually in a position that he'd need to tackle Tiki.
Saints at 49ers. Reggie Bush gave back the freakin' Heisman. The USC hypocrisy on this is ridiculous, and what's even more ridiculous is blaming kids who desperately need money for grabbing a smidgen of the boatloads of cash their universities make on them. Then again, Reggie has a Super Bowl ring and millions of dollars. I'm guessing he figures the Heisman committee can stick their trophy where the sun don't shine. Also, the Saints are going to win again this week.
Betty White hits the dab (Video)
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