Eagles/Seahawks: Historically, we don't do well heading west, but this is the Seahawks, for chrissakes. 2-5. In the NFC West. This should be a cakewalk. Which means it will probably be way closer than it should be. But I don't see how we lose - unless the entire team misses the plane. Eagles.
Jets/Bills: Bills. Who are going to enjoy picking off Vicodin Boy all the live-long day.
Lions/Bears: Bears. Also, ow. Also, picking up Dante Culpepper (rumored) will not help you, Lions. I'm pretty sure you need an exorcism at this point.
Jaguars/Bengals: Think this will be the week the Bengals finally win a game? Me, either. Jaguars.
Ravens/Browns: Ravens. Unless Derek Anderson, circa 2007, manages to show up.
Buccaneers/Chiefs: Buccaneers. Man, the games in this week's lineup (so far) are likely to be so lopsided, I can't even scrounge a reasonable upset pick.
Texans/Vikings. If I go with the Texans, does that count as an upset pick? No, I don't think so. Texans.
Cardinals/Rams: Rams. THIS is the upset pick. The Cards are leading the division, but the Rams have been looking WAY better under Haslett.
Packers/Titans: The is THE game to watch in the 1 pm time slot. Don't get me wrong - the Titans are TOTALLY going to win - but at least it's a matchup of two good teams.
Dolphins/Broncos: You know that whole "the Dolphins only beat good teams" thing? Dolphins.
Cowboys/Giants: Damn! Why is this game playing opposite ours? ARGH! I can't watch TWO GAMES AT THE SAME TIME! Thanks a LOT, NFL. Also, Giants.
Falcons/Raiders: Falcons. How do you fire your owner? Anyone who figures it out, call Tom Cable. Immediately.
Patriots/Colts: Patriots. In a game that's not going to be nearly as exciting as these matchups have been over the last several years.
Steelers/Redskins: As much as I want to call Steelers, they have NOT fared well against the NFC East this year. Redskins.
Edited to add: Bye week: Panthers, Saints, Chargers, 49ers. All but the first teams that need to do some serious soul-searching this week.
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