27 December 2008

2008 Week 17 Picks

So many games with playoff implications this week! And four divisions are still up in the air (AFC East and West, NFC North and South). I think this is the latest in the season that's ever been the case. That's parity for you, I guess.

Eagles/Cowboys: OK, guys, it would take not just one, not just two, but SEVERAL miracles, a total eclipse, an alien landing and probably a sizable bribe to Roger Goodell to get us into the playoffs at this point. HOWEVER, we can STILL ruin the COWBOYS' chances. You know what you have to do. At this point, it's all about grudges. And continuing Tony Romo's pathetic December streaks of suckitude.

Rams/Falcons: Did you know that if the Falcons win and the Panthers lose, the Falcons will win the division? Talk about a turn around! And the Falcons will have no trouble keeping up their end of that bargain.

Titans/Colts: Two good teams, but neither has much to play for at this point. Snarkin' predicts that we'll see the Battle of the Practice Squads (well, I won't, but presumably someone will be watching this game).

Panthers/Saints: You know how if the Panthers lose and the Falcons win, the Falcons win the division? Yeah, probably not gonna happen. The Panthers will win NFC South, but the Falcons are still an amazing story this season, and will take the #5 spot in the NFC.

Giants/Vikings: Giants are playing for nothing, Vikings are playing for the division. Who do you think wins? Yeah, I'm going Vikings, too.

Raiders/Buccaneers: If the Cowboys lose and the Bucs win, the Bucs go to the playoffs. Also, the NFC South dominates. Yeah, have fun Jeff - and good luck, because I don't think you have too many more post-seasons in you.

Browns/Steelers: Whatevs. Neither team cares at this point, but it still won't matter. Yes, the Browns are THAT bad. Bye, Romeo.

Bears/Texans: The Bears are also fighting for their playoff chances, and they will beat the Texans. But it won't matter. For perspective, in order for us to get into the playoffs at this point, both the Bucs and the Bears have to lose AND we have to beat the Cowboys. Like I said, never gonna happen.

Patriots/Bills: I really want to see the Dolphins win AFC East, which I think they will, and the Ravens get to the playoffs. And I think that as long as the Ravens win this week, it doesn't matter what the Pats do. But I'm gonna call the Bills my upset pick anyway.

Chiefs/Bengals: Worst Game of the Week. Bye, Herm.

Lions/Packers: PLEASE let the Lions go 0-16. 'Cause that would be awesomesauce. Bye, Rod.

Jaguars/Ravens: The Ravens will beat the Jags and take the #6 AFC seat.

Dolphins/Jets: The Dolphins will beat the Jets, winning AFC East in another AMAZING turn around, and the Pats will miss the playoffs. HA!

Seahawks/Cardinals: Whatever. Who cares. The teams involved are probably trying to figure out a way they can settle this with a coin toss and still get paid, and skip the whole thing in favor of a BBQ and beer bust at Kurt's place.

49ers/Redskins: I think the 49ers might sneak this one. I'm mostly picking that because I'm still pissed at the Skins for all but ending our playoff hopes last week. Also, I like Mike Singletary. I think the 49ers have their new head coach, at least for a while.

Broncos/Chargers: I think the Chargers pull it out to win AFC West.


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