Super Bowl XLI: Colts versus Bears, Sunday, February 4, 2007
In attendance: Everyone in the world. Seriously. I think I saw you at my house at one point, didn't I?
Menu: Tex-Mex bonanza, many delicious contributions by our friends, plus all the beer in the entire DC-Metro area (I feel bad for all the poor suckers who weren't at our house and were stuck drinking Zima, and you should see how much we have left over. Thanks to everyone who helped re-stock our stores!).
Hey! I actually picked the winning team! What are the odds?
In the great Turnover Bowl of 2007, the ball was wet. And slick. And apparently covered in Vaseline. It was sliding around like a freakin' greased pig. Which made for some pretty entertaining viewing, at least for the first half. After The Purple One's performance, the Colts' inherent superiority began to assert itself, and it was curtains for the Bears. They were really never in contention after the first 30 minutes. So Tony got his delayed and much-deserved ring, Rex melted down as predicted, Urlacher was unable to overcome the Colts entirely on his own, and Peyton Manning didn't have the opportunity to blame another big loss on everyone but himself.
But enough about the game, whose outcome was pretty much predestined. What about the commercials?
In my opinion, the funniest commercial of the entire evening was the Blockbuster spot in the pet store, with the animals trying to click and drag an actual mouse. It's not funny enough that I'm going to dump Netflix in favor of "we have 800 copies of Norbit and nothing else" land, but still, pretty funny.
I was very disappointed when I heard Careerbuilder.com was going to dump the office monkeys. Nothing's funnier than monkeys in ties. But I have to say that, if the monkeys had to go, the "the office is a jungle" theme is definitely a worthy successor. Hilarious - particularly the gladiator-themed spot with people wearing binders on their heads.
Speaking of disappointment, when did car commercials become so stupid? All season long, I've been forced to watch cars doing all sorts of things they can't actually do (flying, driving up buildings and on walls, etc.). How exactly is seeing your car "levitating" supposed to convince me to drop $25-30 big ones on it? And then it got worse during the Super Bowl. You paid $2.6 million to tell me about your truck's "6-speed tranny"? Well that was a big waste of money. And was my crowd the only group that found that unintentionally hilarious? "I thought you could only find 6-speed Trannies on L Street!" was one of the only things people yelled I can post here due to the filters. The only exception was the laid-off robot spot from GM, which wasn't bad and reminded me of the cute little guy from Short Circuit. (Talk about a Child of the '80s moment!)
The beer commercials were, as usual, quite good. Yeah, I know the rock-paper-scissors thing was not only mean but derivative, but it was still funny. Yes, I'm a fan of the oeuvre of Adam Sandler. What of it? The wedding auctioneer, ESL class, stray dog, axe murderer, and gorillas getting distracted by the pretty girl were pretty good too. The Usher/virtual football thing was completely over the top. And I found the spot where everyone was slapping each other and the crab Messiah spot inexplicable.
Edited to add: As Eagleinthepacific pointed out, it was actually Jay-Z, not Usher - which I should have remembered from those dumb spots with Danica Patrick.
Speaking of inexplicable, maybe I'm just a old fogey, but I don't get the Sierra Mist ads. The beard comb over one wasn't bad, but what the hell was up with the martial arts thing? Am I just too old? Coke, too, although their Black History Month ad was nice (so was the Tostitos ad).
The FedEx moon office spot paled in comparison to last year's "But FedEx hasn't been invented yet!" "Not my problem" bit. Sorry, but getting squashed by a dinosaur is way funnier than getting hit by an asteroid, trust me.
Schick wasted $2.6 million on an old ad. So did Izod. And GoDaddy.com seems to spend their ENTIRE marketing budget each year on a Super Bowl spot (and accompanying breast implants).
I loved the Garmin GPS Godzilla/Mothra take off. All that was missing was screaming Japanese people.
I think Doritos was running fan ads. The early one between the two klutzy people was kind of dumb, but the checkout girl/sex ad was great - particularly the payoff: "Cleanup on aisle 5." Priceless!
Chevy ran a fan ad, too, but watching a bunch of flabby guys luvin' up on a car wasn't particularly interesting. Or appetizing. People are trying to eat fajitas here!
Sprint mobile broadband's "connectile dysfunction" ad was roundly mocked Chez Redhead. So was the Flomax ad with the bikers. As one guest remarked: "Shouldn't they call it Flomin or Flonot?" HEE!
Revlon advertising hair color with Sheryl Crow? WTF? This isn't Desperate Housewives, homes.
Emerald Nuts sponsored a typically offbeat ad featuring Robert Goulet. Their stuff is always sort of Dadaist, but I love it.
This year, there were far fewer controversial ads than usual. Nationwide getting K-Fed to spoof himself was brilliant, and just raised him out of the gutter in my estimation. Let's see if he's able to play that out any further.
Speaking of controversial, apparently we weren't the only ones to notice Prince's big, um, guitar during the halftime show.
I assume the NFL "Hard to Say Goodbye" spot set to St. James Infirmary was the Super Ad winner. It was good, but I was sorry they killed Gino Bona's idea for the $6000 bar tab.
Finally, major props to Iraq Veterans Against the War. Gutsy and important. We were all impressed. Go visit their web site right now and express your support of our troops. Let's bring them home.
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