13 December 2007

2007 Week 15 Picks: The Home Stretch

"Home stretch” as in "the Eagles will be stretching out at home watching football from their couches in three more weeks.”

Sigh.

Eagles/Cowboys: Chef Spouse and I celebrate 15 big ones this weekend. We’re headed back to the place we spent our wedding night, as we traditionally do every 5 years, which means, particularly with a potential Nor’easter about to hit, we may end up watching the game with Life-Long Eagles Fan Mom and You-Two-Calm-Down-or-I’m-Turning-Off-the-TV Dad. Ain’t gonna matter. We still gonna get creamed. With a vengeance. Oy.

[Aside: these tools on the NFL Network are trying to be Jaws. I know Jaws, and you, Sir, are no Jaws.]

ThNF Broncos/Texans: Two under-performing teams, one with an excuse (the Texans are an expansion team – you though I was going to say "Mike Shanahan,” didn’t you?). The Texans will likely win (although the all red uniforms make them look like they’re taking the field in footie pjs), but Shoegal recently loaned us Ocean’s 13 and it’s looking REAL tempting. I do love me some Cloones. Ah, Cloones. You say the word, Chef Spouse is history. (Just kidding, babe. OK, not really.)

SaNF Bengals/49ers: It’s the 49ers. Even the Bengals should have no trouble with them. Notice I said should have no trouble. Bengals.

Sunday games

Cardinals/Saints: Man, do the Cards suck, other than when they play the AFC North, when they manage to look half-way competent. Unfortunately for the Cards, the Saints don’t play in AFC North, either. Stay in that wildcard race, baby! Saints.

Titans/Chiefs: Vince Young is just falling apart this season. Of course, since the ENTIRE Chiefs roster is also falling apart this season, it may not matter. Titans.

Jaguars/Steelers: Steelers, I think, but it’s gonna be close. This is the 1 pm game to watch.

Ravens/Dolphins: Because this is (one of) your alternative(s). Aw! The Ravens will get to win a game! Isn’t that nice?

Packers/Rams: KGB SMASH! Packers. Brock Berlin’s gonna need a body cast. "Who’s Brock Berlin?” you ask. The Rams current QB. No, I’m not fooling.

Bills/Browns: Browns. Who are going to the playoffs this year, I think.

Jets/Pats: $10 says Belichick spits on Mangini. Any takers?

Seahawks/Panthers: How’s ole Vinny doing these days? Oh yeah – the Panthers are 5-8 in the craptastic NFC South. The West is equally craptastic, but the Seahawks are 9-4. 10-4 after Sunday.

Falcons/Bucs: The Falcons don’t even have a freakin’ COACH any more. Forfeit. And start drinking heavily. I would aim to be unconscious until after the Super Bowl at least, maybe until Mike Vick is released in 2009. Bucs.

Colts/Raiders: You know how I mentioned in my week 14 recap that the Raiders should be able to handicap the other teams? Even that wouldn’t help them this week. You know, unless they handicap the Colts by swapping uniforms. Colts.

Lions/Chargers: Why do I NOT think this is the week the Lions right their ship? Chargers.

SuNF Redskins/Giants: Boy, I really hope the Skins pull off the upset. I don’t think they will, but I really hope they do.

MNF Bears/Vikings: Brad Childress will get to take his team to the playoffs in his second year as head coach, just like his coaching papa, Big Red. Hope it turns out better for the The Purple People Eaters. Vikings.


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