06 December 2007

2007 Week 14 Picks: Shoegal Edition

Given the straitened financial situation that has resulted from recent events at The Money Pit, my social activities have been somewhat curtailed this fall. So Shoegal invited me over tonight to ply me with free (to me) alcohol. Yay, Shoegal! As a way of saying thank you, I am ceding control of this week’s picks to her.

Shoegal says:

Bears/Redskins: Guess which team is pulling games out at the last minute? Guess which team is losing games where they’re leading at the half? You guessed right! Bears.

Giants/Eagles: It pains both of us to say this, but honestly, the Giants are going to win, barring a miraculous return to competence on the part of the Eagles.

Panthers/Jaguars: To quote Shoegal: "I don’t have a clue.” Me: "You can always go with the AFC trumps NFC rule.” Shoegal: "Jags.”

Buccaneers/Texans: Go Philly South! Bucs.

Raiders/Packers: It’s a sad day if the Pack can’t take the Raiders, even if Brett Favre circa 2005 is playing.

Cowboys/Lions: Cowboys. The Lions are in a death spiral.

Rams/Bengals: Bengals offense trumps Gus Frerotte. If Gus Frerotte is your solution, you’re screwed.

Dolphins/Bills: It’s the anti-perfect season! 0-16, baby! Bills.

Chargers/Titans: Chargers, who may be pulling it together just in the nick of time to win the woeful AFC West.

Vikings/49ers: Vikings. Talk about teams pulling it together just at the right time!

Cardinals/Seahawks: Ken Whisenhut has been a genius against the AFC North this year. Unfortunately for the Cardinals, the Seahawks do not PLAY in the AFC North. Seahawks. Or, as Shoegal put it: "Go with the hot jockey.”

Chiefs/Broncos: Such mediocrity! This comes down to who’s going to NOT lose, not who’s going to win. The Broncos have recently lost to the Bears and the Raiders (oh, the humanity!). The Chiefs have lost their LAST FIVE (probably because I’ve been picking them to win). Shoegal says Broncos (which probably means it’s finally the Chiefs’ week).

Steelers/Patriots: The Steelers are the last team that stands between the Patriots and 16-0. The Eagles and Ravens provided the plan. Let’s see if the Steelers can execute it. And hope for mud. (It’s probably still Patriots, but we’re being hopeful and calling) Steelers. And a career-ending injury for Rocks Brady.

Browns/Jets: Man, could the Jets be any worse? Well, actually, yes – they could be the Dolphins. Browns.

Colts/Ravens: Gotta go with the Colts. That was an impressive effort the Ravens put up against the Patriots last week. You know who else put up an impressive effort against the Pats? Surely you remember – and you also remember who went on to lose to the freakin’ Seahawks.

Saints/Falcons: Geaux Saints! We still believe.


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