19 November 2007

2007 Week 11 Recap

Eagles v. Dolphins, Sunday, November 18, 2007

In attendance: Just Shoegal, Chef Spouse & me. Ex-Navy Cheesehead and Steelers Transplant bailed on us.

Menu: burgers and snackies. But we classed it up with an appetizer of prosciutto-wrapped asparagus.

What does it say about our season when we’re playing an 0-9 team and I’m worried? What does it say about our season when we’re playing a team that’s fielding a rookie QB, and I’m convinced that we’re going to find a way to lose? What does it say about our season when Ted Ginn Jr. runs a punt back 87 yards for the first score of the game in the first minute of the second quarter, and I become convinced we’re going to lose? What does it say about our season when I, (normally) proud owner and wearer of a #5 jersey, see Big D go out and think, "Hey, maybe we actually have a shot now!”

Once again, it wasn’t a pretty win, but at least it was a win. Against a team that shouldn’t have been a problem. To get us to .500. Finally. And to get us 2 in a row. Finally. But I’ve given up on the playoffs. I’m just hoping to wrap up the season at .500. And frankly, even that’s not going to be an easy task – ahead of us, we have the Pats (10-0), the Seahawks (OK, they have a better record than we do, but their division is seriously terrible, so we should be able to take them), the Giants (uh-oh), the Cowboys (UH-OH!), and then the Saints and the Bills to end the season. So, like I said, I think at this point, we’re just hoping for a .500 season.

As I’m listening to Monday Night Countdown, the sports bloviators are discussing the differences between Vince Young and Jay Cutler, both draft class of 2006. And another answer to "what’s wrong with the 2007 Eagles?” occurs to me: in previous years, opposing teams had to hold back a linebacker or two in case D-Mac decided to make a run for it. This year, he’s no threat on the hoof, and the sad fact is, we don’t have a receiver who merits double coverage. So opposing teams can cover everyone and/or bring the house to our gimpy QB without worrying about him escaping. Maybe that – plus the lack of defensive takeaways – is our answer.

And D-Mac is maybe out for the Pats. Raise your hand if you think it would matter one way or the other.

(cue the howling coyotes and the tumbleweed)

Around the rest of the NFL…more wacky high-jinks.

Vikings over Raiders – Welcome home, Daunte. NOT! OK, maybe the Vikings do have offense without Adrian Peterson, aka Chester Taylor. Fortunately, it didn’t require a change in the game plan: QB (whoever manages to play that week) takes snap, hands ball to running back, duck & covers. Did you know Koy Detmer’s been signed by Minnesota? The way things are going, they might need him.

Colts over Chiefs – How did the Colts only manage to beat the (now) 4-6 Chiefs by 3? Oh right – Adam Vinatieri’s in a big slump (what’s the over/under on how long it be until Peyton Manning throws him under the same bus he tossed Vanderjagt under in 2005?), and everyone else other than Peyton is injured. Don’t feel too bad for the Colts – they’re 8-2, and the last season we survived with everyone injured (2005), we went 6-10.

Giants over Lions – Of course. We can’t catch a freakin’ break this year. One of my fellow bloggers observed that the Giants need to step it up if they don’t want to lose their coach in the off-season. Why wouldn’t they want to lose their coach in the off-season? Tom Coughlin’s mom doesn’t even like him!

Browns over Ravens – The Ravens finally figured out how to score some points! Clue #1: bench McNair. I actually didn’t expect this game to be this close. And talk about wacky high-jinks! I’ll bet next year, field goals will be reviewable. Although the zebras did make the right decision, despite (purportedly) not being able to review the play. Yeah, that time head zebra Pete Morelli spent under the hood? He was developing his vacation snaps. Really. Took the fam to Yellowstone. Great trip. Oh, and Ravens? Maybe heading to the locker room in a nanosecond was not your best choice ever. If Ray Lewis had still been in his uniform rather than a towel, you might have had a chance in OT. Hard to tackle people when you’re worried about an imminent wardrobe malfunction.

Texans over Saints – I called it, but I’m still not happy about it. Of course, the Saints could still take NFC South. Easily. Sigh. I miss the days when our division sucked.

Packers over Panthers – In the battle of the Old Guys, the Not Quite Older Than God Old Guy won out over the Older Than God Guy. Maybe I should start wishing for the Pack to win the Super Bowl. Maybe then Vicodin Boy would GO AWAY. Yeah, that seems pointless. Can we just give the freakin’ Lombardi trophy to the freakin’ Pats already and get it over with?

Jaguars over Chargers – Told ya! How does Norv! get to be a head coach and I can’t get a job as a sports writer? Man, there is no justice in the world.

Cardinals over Bengals – Yawn. I guessed right. Who cares? Oh wait – at .500, the Cardinals can probably win NFC West. Sigh. I REALLY miss the days when our division sucked.

Bucs over Falcons – How bad do you have to be to get yanked in favor of Joey Harrington? Byron Leftwich can tell you. I always suspected that the Falcons were a bunch of frauds with a terrifyingly gifted jerk leading the pack. Now everyone knows I was right.

Jets over Steelers – Speaking of wacky high-jinks, all I can say to this is: WHAT THE F***?

Cowboys over Redskins – Given that one of the teams had to win, I’m ALWAYS going to root against the Cowboys. Cowboys versus Giants? Root for the Giants. Cowboys versus Redskins? Root for the Skins. Cowboys versus Packers (aka the NFC Championship Game 2007)? Root for the (gulp) Packers. Cowboys versus Pats (aka Super Bowl XLII)? Root for (hated, but not as much as the Cowboys) Pats. Cowboys versus Satan? Go, Beelzebub! To quote the Dead: "A friend of the devil is a friend of mine.” Sad thing? The Skins had a shot to win it and blew it. How much longer do you figure Ole Joe to put up with lil’ Danny Snyder? Even more news of the weird? Captain ME! seems to be turning into a grown up. Who woulda thunk it?

Seahawks over Bears – The Bears needed a miracle, and they got Rex Grossman. Somebody has a hell of a sense of humor.

Rams over 49ers – You didn’t WATCH the game, did you? Did anyone? I’m pretty sure watching something that horrible could in fact be dangerous to your health. These are teams that require a Surgeon General’s warning.

Speaking of needing a Surgeon General’s warning, I may not watch any more Pats games this year, including ours against them next Sunday. It’s just too painful. The only good thing that happened to the Bills last night was Kevin Everett’s pre-game broadcast. Amazingly, he’s walking, albeit shakily. He needed a miracle, and he got it.

And right now, at MNF halftime, the Broncos are up over the Titans, 20-10, but I still think the Titans will pull it off.


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