02 January 2007

Let the beheadings begin!

OK, Jim Mora and Dennis "Wildman" Green were a gimme. Although I really hope The Wildman gets to stay around - his press conferences were a hell of a lot more interesting than Big Red's: "Yes." "No." "Yes." "Thank you." But did Art Blank even wait for the plane to land back in Atlanta before he fired Mora? Flight attendant: "You may now use your cell phones as we taxi to the gate." "Ring...ring..." "Mora here." "You have Mike Vick, DeAngelo Hall, and Alge Crumpler and we went 7-9? You're sacked, buddy! Don't even bother to get off the plane."

But what other heads will roll? More importantly, which ones should roll? I'll write up my thoughts, but y'all should feel free to weigh in.

Will roll? Art Shell. But there's a rumor that the Raiders will try to get Marty Mornhinweg to replace him, and if they do, I'm going to kill them. He's the first man in recorded history to successfully convince AR to do this cool thing called "running the football."

Should roll? Deadhead Skins Fan and Spouse and Cool Web Dude (Skins Fan) are going to KILL me, but Joe Gibbs. He never should have come out of retirement, and if he can't stand up to Danny "Wait - real football is different from my fantasy league?" Snyder, and do what the team needs, he should to go back to NASCAR.

Will roll? Tom Coughlin. The entire team's on board with this one, and will probably whack him and dump his body in the end zone of the new stadium they want if the Maras won't oblige.

Should roll? Bill Parcells. Another one who should have stayed retired. Looking at his face all season dealing with Captain ME!, I wish I owned stock in GlaxoSmithKline (maker of Tums). Actually, Captain ME! is the one who should be let go, but Jerry Jones is too much of a tool to see that.

Will roll? Jon Gruden. This is speculation, but the Bucs just suck, and people were calling for him to be fired LAST year - which he should have been after losing to the Redskins in the wildcard game.

Should roll? John Fox. Dude's got Steve Smith and the ever-terrifying sacking machine Julius Peppers, and his team misses the playoffs for the second time in 3 years? I could've coached them into the playoffs, man.

Edited to add: Got the Panthers' coach's name wrong initially. Bad writer. No donut.

Will roll? It's looking like Scowly McOldSchool (aka Bill Cowher) is going to hang it up under his own power with one year left on his contract. Don't go Scowly! I'll miss you!

Should roll? Mike Shanahan. Dude, how do you lose to the 49ers at home with the playoffs on the line?

Will roll? Nick Saban, although it's also looking to be under his own power. But taking a team that many people - myself included - predicted to make the playoffs to a 6-10 finale does not bode well for his continued presence in the NFL. The University of Alabama might just be saving Dolphins' owner Wayne Huizenga the trouble of firing him.

Should roll? Probably Rod Marinell. How long does he get a free pass on the Lions sucking? But I'd like to thank him personally for engineering that win over the Cowboys. Big kiss, Rod!

PS to Romeo Crennel: watch your back, too, man. You're hardly the only one at fault in Cleveland, but it doesn't look good.

So weigh in - who do you think stays? Goes? Should go?


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