29 December 2006

2006 Week 17 Picks

This is it, football fans. All questions will be resolved in 3 short days.

Is there any way we don't beat the Falcons at home in this, our season finale? No way, man. They're a mess from stem to stern, and meanwhile, we are on a roll, baby. NFC East Championship, here we come! Better chill that bubbly, Eagles fans!

Watched SportsCenter at all this week? Then you've heard that TO's pulling the Cowboys apart right on schedule. But they do have their wildcard spot, and I just don't see them falling apart badly enough to lose to the 2-13 Lions. Of course, if they do, I will NEVER stop laughing.

Speaking of teams that are falling apart, the Giants are in a major tailspin. Major enough to lose to the Skins and miss the playoffs? Yeah, maybe. I wouldn't be surprised to see the Skins steal this one, particularly with Michael Strahan out again - maybe for good - and Shockey unlikely. Not that JShock's been any great shakes on receiving or running this year, but at least he can block. Of course, if all five 7-8 NFC teams lose this week - a distinct possibility - the Giants could squeak into the playoffs with a 7-9 record. Oh, the shame!

The Saints get to beat the Panthers at home in their season finale. Isn't that nice? They'll finish the season 11-5, looking (to me at least) like serious Super Bowl contenders (particularly given how the Bears have looked recently). Sean Payton better make a spot on his bookshelf for that Coach of the Year trophy.

Browns/Texans: MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAGGGHHHH! Worst Game of the Week.

Jaguars/Chiefs: Jags! You were supposed to be a contender for AFC South! Two inconsistent 8-7 teams, both with extremely slim playoff hopes. Coin flip says Jags, but really, who cares? (Well, other than the Bengals, since one of their possible playoff scenarios necessitates a Chiefs win.)

Pats/Titans: yet another situation of "Team A (Titans) are in IF they win AND Team B loses AND Team C loses AND Team D wins." C'mon. And the Pats don't tend to be a "let's rest everyone now" bunch. The Titans are also on a roll and could win this game, but the playoffs are pretty unlikely.

Raiders/Jets: OK, so here's one scenario that's going to happen - the Jets WILL clinch one of the AFC wildcards. And any of those Team A --> Team B --> Team C --> Team D scenarios that necessitate a Jets loss as one of the steps? Not gonna happen.

Steelers/Bengals: Boy, I don't know. The Steelers are out of it, so all that remains to them is to play spoiler to the Bengals' playoff hopes. Which they'd love to do. Let's call it a win for the Steelers, bringing them to .500 for the season, and knocking the Bengals out of the playoffs.

Seahawks/Bucs: I've said it before, and I'll say it again: the Seahawks are lucky they play in the weakest division in the NFL. Yeah, the Bucs are terrible, but the Seahawks could find a way to lose to them, winning their division at .500. How humiliating.

Rams/Vikings: Another game where all the Vikings can do is play spoiler. Of course, the Rams need pretty much every other NFC game to fall out exactly one way in order to make the playoffs, since there's only one open wildcard, so that ain't gonna happen, but I do see them ending their season with a win.

Cardinals/Chargers: If the Chargers decide to rest everyone, which they won't since they're still playing for home field, the Cardinals might have a chance.

Bills/Ravens: See above.

Dolphins/Colts: Hey, another two teams that are both falling apart! I suspect the Colts will pull it together enough to beat the Dolphins in an attempt to get the bye (which is unlikely, since it would also require the Ravens to lose), only to lose their first playoff game. Like usual. Securing the bye only postpones the inevitable.

49ers/Broncos: the Broncos can take the other AFC wildcard just by winning, no other contingencies required. Which is exactly what they're going to do.

Packers/Bears: Does Lovie Smith decide to rest everyone? The Packers sure would appreciate it, since then they'd have a shot at winning at Soldier Field. But if the Packers take the other NFC wildcard, I'm going to have to listen to ANOTHER year of "Brett Favre this," "Brett Favre that," "Brett Favre is SOOO great," and I just don't think I can take it. Bears, do you hear me?

Want more info on the playoff scenarios? Check out The NFL Playoff site.


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