20 November 2006

2006 Week 11 Recap, Part 2


Around the rest of the NFL...

The Ravens handed the Falcons their hats and said, "Don't let the door hit your season in the a** on its way out." To quote rocketman: "Ray Lewis, meanwhile, played the role of league's most menacing cheerleader." HEE! Does anyone else have this really hilarious mental picture of Ray Lewis in a little flippy skirt, matching sweater, and pom-poms?

THREE shut outs were pitched this week. Out of 15 games (so far). That's 20%, man.

Shutout one: Bears over the Jets. The Bears are perfect at the Meadowlands so far this year. Maybe they should ask if it can stand in for Soldier Field during the playoffs, since they're likely to lock up home field.

Shutout two: Pats over Green Bay. And poor Vicodin Boy hurt his arm. Maybe it will finally end his bogus consecutive-games streak.

Shutout three: Panthers over the Rams. That's pretty impressive, actually. The Panthers obviously had one of their good days. Don't worry - their bipolar disorder is likely to reassert itself any moment now.

Even though they lost to the Bucs, the good news for the Skins is that they've solved their QB problems. The bad news is that now they have to tackle their problems with the other 52 guys. And the coaching staff. And the front office. And the owner. Oy.

The 49ers sure surprised the hell out of the Seahawks. And me. And everyone else, including those Chinese farmers. The 49ers are now at .500. We are now at .500. OH, THE HUMANITY.

Drew Bledsoe threw for about a zillion yards. Which would have assured another Saints' victory had half of them not been to various Bengals.

The Browns almost managed to pull off the upset against the Steelers. Sadly for them, almost doesn't count except in horseshoes and hand grenades. The way their division is going, someone should get them a crisis counselor, stat!

The Raiders almost managed an upset over the Chiefs. At least there's somebody out there virtually guaranteed to remain worse than us! (I still think we ought to consider throwing the rest of our games to improve our draft standing. Maybe that's what the Raiders decided to do. In week two.)

And then a lot of, "Did anyone watch this game?"

Dolphins over Vikings, Bills over Texans, Cardinals over Lions. Whatever. Your own fans probably don't even care anymore. They're like: "Hey! Saved By The Bell marathon!"

Man, the Chargers are looking like the real deal! I know defense wins championships and all, but if you have a running back/receiver who can come up an average of 2 TDs a game, who needs defense? "Defense-schmefense. We'll just score, like, 75 points. No problem, right LT?" I'm starting to think we might see the Chargers in the Super Bowl. Coming from behind after being dominated in the first half and winning a tough one in Denver's a good sign for their post-season.

Stupid Cowboys.

Now I'm in the unenviable position of rooting for the Giants. I feel so dirty! But I feel better than I will if the Cowboys move to the head of the division. Then y'all really will have to talk me down off the ledge.

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