05 November 2009

2009 Week 9 Picks

Last week, leading up to the matchup with the Giants, all the commentators were all "Giants Giants Giants." Then we BEAT the Giants. And now they're all "Cowboys Cowboys Cowboys." Man, you lose ONE game to the Raiders and it dogs you out FOREVER.

That's OK, though - everyone should definitely keep focusing on all the other teams in the NFC East - even the poor benighted Redskins - because we like being the underdog. First the Giants were the best team in the NFC East. Now it's the Cowboys. Whatever. We'll see what y'all have to say after we spank the Cowboys on Sunday.

Who am I picking? Please. Do you even have to ask? Get ready to cry, Tony, because you know how much we love that.

Redskins/Falcons. Falcons. Duh.

Cardinals/Bears. This one is interesting. Both teams are maddeningly inconsistent this year, beating tough opponents one week (Giants for the Cards - although maybe they aren't as tough as everyone once thought - and Steelers for the Bears - although no Troy Polamalu that week) and dropping games they should win the next (How did the Bears lose to the Packers when they still had Brian Urlacher? How did the Cards lose to the Panthers? Wait - I know this one. 5 turnovers.) I'm going to call Cardinals, but this one really could go either way.

Colts/Texans. Texans! Team of Destiny! (Really, they're probably not going to win, but you never know.)

Ravens/Bengals. A month ago? I would definitely have called Ravens. Today? I'm calling Bengals, man. They seem to finally have their collective act together.

Chiefs/Jaguars. Jaguars. The Chiefs are terrible.

Packers/Buccaneers. The Pack will bounce back from their disappointing loss at home to the Vikings last week by KICKING THE BUCS' ASSES. You heard it here first.

Dolphins/Patriots. I know this is crazy talk, but I'm calling the Dolphins. I just have a feeling about this one.

Panthers/Saints. The Saints have to drop a game eventually, but it's not going to be this week. Saints.

Seahawks/Lions. Ugh. Seahawks. And whatever you do, DO NOT watch this game. Seriously. I fear for your mental health.

Titans/49ers. 49ers. Vince Young was the answer last week against the Jags, but he's not The Answer.

Giants/Chargers. The Giants do have the advantage of being at home, but I don't think it's going to be enough of an advantage, particularly the way they've been playing lately. Chargers.

Steelers/Broncos. Hm - are you sure there's no way BOTH teams can win? The Steelers are my Pennsylvania-homer AFC team, but the Broncos have Wolverine. It's a tough choice, but I do think the Broncos will pull this one out.

On bye: Bills, Browns, Vikings, Jets, Raiders, Rams


04 November 2009

Sunday Schedule: November 8, 2009

Life-Long Eagles Fan Mom and You-Two-Calm-Down-or-I'm-Turning-Off-the-TV Dad will be visiting this weekend! So if you've been thinking about joining us but haven't made it out this season yet, this Sunday is THE time. Game schedule:

1 pm: probably Redskins/Falcons, but I'd be open to argument for one of the other 1 pm games
4 pm: Chargers/Giants
8 pm: Eagles/Cowboys!

MNF: Steelers/Broncos (which I'll be watching from Chicago)

Menu: Life-Long Eagles Fan Mom is bringing a brisket! Get excited, and come hungry! With something that goes with brisket.


03 November 2009

A Modest Proposal

Advice from Chef Spouse for the next Redskins coach (because even if ZORN! lasts the rest of the season, there will be a new Redskins coach sooner rather than later):
  • Get yourself a good contract - man's gotta eat. And buy a house in the DC area, which is not for sissies. Or poor people.
  • Make a new GM an absolutely non-negotiable part of your employment
  • Write in a $100M bonus that is delivered if and only if Dan Snyder interferes in any way with the team. Don't even let him speak to any players or draft prospects other than to say "nice game, X!"
Whoever you are - and at this point, probably the only people clueless enough to be willing to TAKE the job are currently coaching high school teams - it's your only chance.


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02 November 2009

2009 Week 8 Recap


Eagles versus Giants, Sunday, November 1, 2009

In attendance: just me & Shoegal to start (Chef Spouse left at 5 am for San Antonio), but The Executive Committee and the Mad Kitchen Scientist showed up before halftime and hung out awhile.

Menu: homemade chili and cornbread, beer, ginger molasses cookies (Life-Long Eagles Fan Mom's favorites), Shoegal brought a bunch of yummy snacks (including some deliciously spicy hummus), the Mad Kitchen Scientist showed up with bread and a block of yeast for my future bread-baking experiments, and a little Eagle Rare 17 with one (ONLY one) rock to celebrate our win.

Stud of the week: It is really REALLY hard not to pick DMac, who had a pretty much perfect game (guess that rib's feeling way better), but I have to give the shout out to Leonard Weaver, who had his biggest day as an Eagle and scored our first TD of the day, setting the G-men back on their heels. 3rd offensive play of the game for us, 41 yards, longest TD run of Weaver's career. Good job, baby!

So let's get back to DMac for a minute. Wow. Just wow. I love how Tommy breaks it down - we tried to play small ball, 24 runs to 23 passes, long, slow drives where every single play doesn't have to be a Big Play, and the Giants just wouldn't let us. They blew coverage left, right, back, forward, up, down, inside, outside - pretty much every single way coverage can be blown.

All three phases were clicking - we had FIVE different guys with TDs: Maclin, McCoy, Weaver, Celek, and Peanut (of course - he hauls in a 50 yard + TD every damn game). The Giants apparently have no defensive secondary. Rocca punted well. Akers kicked well, other than a blocked extra point. Ellis Hobbes has redeemed himself since the opening kickoff of the second half of the Saints game. Our D pressured Eli all day and didn't let him get comfortable. Brandon Jacobs, other than one decent run, got precisely nowhere. The Giants seemed to get a little momentum toward the end of the first half when they finally scored, and then we rocked out two TDs in under two minutes. It was really never even in question after that, but LeSean McCoy sealed it with a final TD early in the 4th. Hell, even Peanut's TD celebration was pretty good.

And speaking of, is it just me, or does he have like two entire gears that no one else on the field has? Could he be any faster? And, as I'd hoped, Andy and Marty quit screwing around with Vick and the wildcat (although one of the other Eagles fans at last Monday's matchup with the Redskins was heard to remark that in Philly with Vick it should be called the mad dog offense) now that things are Getting Serious.

Inside the Iggles has a good player by player breakdown. A few shoutouts in particular: our young (other than the QB) offensive skill players are good now. Give them two more years together, and they'll be awesomesauce. You heard it here first. I adore Brent Celek. He busts his ass for the first down, even when we're ahead by a million points and just trying to run out the clock. Bullshit horse collar call on Jason Babin taking down Eli clearly by just his jersey and clearly when he was still not out of bounds. Apparently, if your last name is "Manning," you aren't allowed to be touched. A Jason Avant sighting! On a key 3rd down! Hopefully, Andy and Marty will remember that he's still playing for us over the next 9+ games (because there will be a plus this year, I think). I never thought I'd see a day when our O played like that without Westy. And it's just in time, because I love him, but he is wearing down for sure. Is this his last year? I wouldn't be surprised.

One thing that annoyed me was that we got the ball back turned over on downs inside the two minute warning at the end of the game. AR was all ready to knee it out, and you could see on Eli's face that he did NOT want to go back out on the field. Tom Coughlin took all their time outs, even though they were down 40-17, and made the offense go back out. I was yelling at the TV that I wanted a career ending injury for as many key Giants offensive players as possible. I mean, really, why are you doing that? There is literally NO POSSIBLE WAY to win, we're trying to be nice, every single play is a risk in football, and you're being a jackass.

So Chef Spouse, HA! You were wrong. Gotta believe, man! The Giants may not miss Plax most of the time, but I'll bet they miss him against us and our midget secondary. And in the end, they aren't all that. Bring on the Cowboys, because you know who's been their daddy in the the Tony Romo era? If you guessed E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES! you would be right.

Around the rest of the NFL...I pretty much blew all my picks. But I got the key one right, so who cares? I'm only out $5 in the weekly office football pool.

Ravens over Broncos. The Ravens not only BEAT the Broncos, they DESTROYED them. The Broncos weren't going to go undefeated, and the Ravens REALLY needed this win (at home), but still. The Broncos could not make anything happen on offense. Yes, defense can win you games, but generally speaking, the offense still has to score SOME points.

Texans over Bills. Team of Destiny! Also, did you know that that was where Ryan Moats went? Because I did not, until I saw him romp into the endzone - THREE TIMES - on the game highlight reel. In other news, I think TO's done.

Bears over Browns. Who just fired their GM. And, according to NFL.com, escorted him from the building. Ouch.

Cowboys over Seahawks. Yeah, the NFC West is still pathetic. In case you were wondering. You know, the Eagles kicked Giant ass all over The Linc yesterday, so there was a lot of conversation about the NFC East. You know who all the conversation was about? The Cowboys. F the Cowboys. They didn't get past the Giants.

Dolphins over Jets. Wilbon pointed out that this was an NFC-level nasty, hard-hitting game. Funny, I've always thought that the AFC is the big-hit conference, what with the Steelers and the Ravens and all, but I guess they're also the land of the Colts and the Patriots and, I don't know, apparently nicer teams than what you usually see in the average outdoor NFC stadium in late December.

Colts over 49ers. What was surprising was that it was such a close game, and the 49ers mostly kept Peyton out of the endzone. Some better teams should definitely study that tape. Hard.

Rams over Lions. On the MNF pre-game "Come On, Man!" segment that I love, the Ram s got called out for dumping, like, two cups of water and 12 ice cubes on Spags on his first win as a head coach. "Come On, Man!" indeed. That kind of half-assed effort is why you're 1- 7 (in case you were wondering).

Charger over Raiders. How did we manage to make JaMarcus Russell look like he might be a competent QB? Such promise, and it's just not panning out. I don't know if it's an Akili Smith situation or if it's bad coaching or what, but regardless, it's a shame. Also, the assault allegations against Tom Cable keep mounting. I know the Raiders fans love their thug image, but this is taking it a little too far.

Titans over Jags. Hm. Maybe Vince Young was the answer all along. What are the odds?

Vikings over Packers. Not only do the Packers lose to Brett Favre in a purple uni at home, but Aaron Rodgers is starting to show wear and tear from the beating he's been taking. Could they maybe try to find that poor kid a little protection? And it sounds like the locker room is not exactly unified. Problems up in Green Bay.

Panthers over Cardinals. Did I say Jake Delhomme has had it? Well, actually, maybe he has, but Kurt Warner threw about 3,657,237 picks, and it's hard for any team to recover from that.

We're just over 2 minutes from the half of Falcons/Saints, it's tied up, and the Falcons are doing WAY better than I anticipated they would. Colts and Saints are the last of the undefeated teams. Not that I think the Falcons are going to pull this out, but any given Sunday, and twice that for divisional games.


29 October 2009

2009 Week 8 Picks


The Giants got off to a hot start, winning their first five games. But in that five game stretch, they beat only one team with a winning record (Cowboys) and four dogs (Bucs, Skins, Raiders, Chiefs). Don't get me wrong, we couldn't handle one of those dogs, so my house is far too made of glass to run around throwing stones. But since then, they've played two good teams - the Saints, who also beat us, but by nearly an identical margin with K2 making his very first start, and the Cards, who we haven't faced since the damn NFC Championship game last year - and dropped both games.

So they're not nearly as unbeatable as they looked on November 12 - that sobriquet is reserved for the Saints in the NFC this year - but coming up as Giant-killers will not be easy.

Many people have said that the NFC East has two good teams, one schizo team, and one bad team this year. Now's our chance to prove that right. I think we can do this. Chef Spouse is not feelin' the love, but he has pointed out that it's a matter of which team shows up. And he's not loving the play calling this season, and, as you know, neither am I. But I think this Sunday is when Andy and Marty quit screwing around and get serious. Chef Spouse is not so sanguine.

I'm calling the Iggles, partially but not totally because I'm a total homer. And for it to happen, Winston Justice needs to have a BIG game containing Osi Umenyiora. Did you hear that, Winston? I'm expecting big things of you.

Broncos/Ravens - If we weren't playing opposite, this would DEFINITELY be on the big screen. As it is, this will DEFINITELY be on the 'puter on SuperCast. I think the Broncos take this one, but this is going to be a gooooooood game.

Texans/Bills. Texans! Team of Destiny!

Browns/Bears. I think the Bears have finally found an opponent they can handle. Bears.

Seahawks/Cowboys. I SO want to call Seahawks, but I just don't see it happening. Sigh. Cowboys. (Seahawks, please PLEASE PLEASE pull it together and prove me wrong.)

Dolphins/Jets. Record says Jets, but the Dolphins did pull off the win against them on MNF 3 weeks ago. Then again, that game was at home. This one is not. I think I've just talked myself into calling Jets.

Colts/49ers. I don't have to talk myself into anything here. Colts.

Rams/Lions. OH. MY. GOD. This is the official The Worst Game of the Week. For my pick, I'd like to choose "who cares?" but I guess I have to pick the Lions, who have at least won a game this season.

Chargers/Raiders. The Raiders were a trap for us. They will NOT be a trap for the Chargers. Who will win. Big time.

Titans/Jags. How the mighty have fallen! I'm calling Jags, mostly because I think it would be hilarious if, after the first 0-16 season in NFL history, we had another right away. Go for the goat spot, Titans!

Vikings/Packers. Brett Favre returns to Lambeau Field in purple. I hope the Packers SLAUGHTER the Vikings. I hope they send the team home in body bags. I hope Brett Favre is LITERALLY in PIECES at the end of this game. Think THEN he'd finally retire? You know, if he's, like, decapitated and stuff? Revenge is a dish best served cold. Which it usually is at Lambeau. Packers.

Panthers/Cards. Um, Cards. Jake Delhomme has HAD IT.

Falcons/Saints. I'm sure the Saints will have to lose a game eventually, but it won't be this week. Saints.

On bye: Patriots, Chiefs, Bengals, Steelers, Bucs, Redskins (just in time....to fire their head coach)




Sunday Schedule: November 1, 2009

Bring on the G-men! Here's hoping we can be Giant-killers and get our first quality win of the season!

1 pm - Eagles/Giants
4 pm - Vikings/Packers
8 pm - no SNF because of the World Series - go Phillies!

MNF - Falcons/Saints

Chef Spouse will be leavin' on a jet plane for San Antonio first thing Sunday morning, which leaves me in charge of the kitchen. I'm thinking chili and cornbread. Bring something to go with!


27 October 2009

2009 Week 7 Recap


Eagles at Redskins, Monday, October 26, 2009

In attendance: For MNF, me, Chef Spouse, Deadhead Redskins Fan, her friend the season ticket holder, Cool Web Dude (Skins Fan), Hottie Web Chick, and a Fed Ex field that looked about 1/2 and 1/2 to me.

Sunday football was a whole new crew - McLovin, Wingman, Mr. Wingman, and Tweety Monster (all friends from my professional me life)

Menu: Potage au pistou, a really yummy French veggie soup with white beans and pesto, lots of different cheeses and olives, rosemary bread, the infamous guac, the equally infamous garlic crack, and lots of fun cocktails - Chef Spouse was on a roll.

Stud of the Game: You know it's gotta be #10, DJax, the Dime of 5 & Dime, your favorite and mine, DeSean "Peanut" Jackson. 67 yard rushing TD, 57 yard receiving TD, 29 yard punt return. My man is bringing it in his sophomore season! Honorable mention goes to new Eagle MLB Will Witherspoon who created two turnovers last night, one that went for 6 and the other for 3. Welcome to the Eagles, Will! We're glad you're here.

So we won, which is good. And our D looked pretty solid, particularly on that goal-line stand (which was helped by Jason Campbell's fumble). And we held Clinton Portis to 43 yards on 14 attempts (he's not the threat he once was, but that's still pretty good). And our O line looked better. And when BWest went down, our offense didn't completely fall apart, as we often have in previous years.

Our offense was completely out of sorts other than the two big 5 & Dime hookups. In my totally-has-no-effect-on-anyone-who-could-make-a-difference opinion, the problem is that Andy and Marty keep screwing around with trick shit every third play. Here are other items on Andy's Chinese food menu laminated play card that he just didn't get to last night:
  • Have DMac line up at tight end
  • Bring Trent Cole in as a receiver
  • Lineup BWest at center
  • O-line and receivers switch places
  • EVERYONE lines up to the left, including Stacey Andrews and Winston Justice
  • Everyone moves one position to the right
  • All 3 QBs on the field at once
  • Once DMac has the ball, he fakes to the left. No! He fakes to the right. He doesn't fake. He thinks about faking. He pretends to fake. (extra points if you recognize the reference)
It's one thing if your QB is Chad Henne. But here's a thought: have you heard of this guy named Donovan McNabb? 5 time pro-bowler, as of last night, only the 21st player in NFL history to have 200 TD passes and 30,000 passing yards? One of only FOUR players to have 200 TD passes and 3,000 rushing yards? Maybe you might want to consider just LETTING HIM PLAY QB. Sorry, haters, but when he's on the field, he's our best offensive weapon. Why in the hell are we taking him out of the huddle every third play? I know Vick is Big Red's community service project, and that's lovely, but we need to win some f-ing games here! We ALL know that one of DMac's problems is that he's streaky. He can't get ON a streak if he's constantly coming off the field.

We won, but we won ugly. A fellow Eagles fan emailed me earlier today asking if the Iggles had their first quality win. I'm sure my Skins fan friends appreciate the upgrade, but the Skins are no one's definition of a quality team. We're still - STILL - looking for our first quality win. Next week would be a GREAT time for it to show up.

And in injury news, there's more bad news for the Skins. Not only do they have the third worst owner in football and a TOTALLY ineffective GM (seriously, I think I'd do a better job than Vinny Cerrato), but Chris Cooley is out, maybe for the rest of the season, with a broken ankle. He's one of their few reliable players at this point. And as for Westy, thank God it's just a concussion. Not that they aren't serious, but when he wasn't moving we were ALL freaking out. I thought it was really nice that DMac stayed with his brother Byron (who, as you may recall is a Redskin) after Andy motioned for him to stay on the field.

Are we playoff material this year? Going into the season I thought "for sure." Now, I'm not so convinced. One thing in our favor is that we do tend to get hot at the right time (November/December) - and next Sunday is Nov 1. We'll know in just under 6 days if we *are* playoff material this year.

Around the rest of the NFL...

WHAT WAS WITH ALL THE BLOWOUTS!?!? Geez - BOOOOOO-RING! Sigh.

Packers over Browns. I have no comment about this. NO ONE has a comment about this. The Packers didn't even feel like finishing the game, but they were contractually obligated.

Texans over 49ers. It was a close game. Shaun Hill's been benched. Alex Smith got to play. Good for him! After the big Alex Smith/Aaron Rodgers draft in 2005, it was like both of them died. Or went to play in the CFL. Or decided to trek in Nepal for a while. It's nice to see them both playing. Mike Singletary obviously hopes Smith will play *better* but maybe he will when he actually gets the reps with the rest of the first team offense.

Chargers over Chiefs. Which team is the biggest whipping boy so far this season? I would say the Chiefs, but they have actually won a game. Over the Redskins, true, but in the race to the bottom, they aren't leading. That dubious honor would be reserved for....

Patriots over Buccaneers. Yes, the Bucs are the worst team in football. Except for maybe...

Colts over Rams. Hm, maybe the Rams are the worst team in football. What do y'all think? In other news, the Colts have lost Adam Vinateri for 3-7 weeks and have signed Matt Stover as a replacement. Why did they bother? All Peyton does is throw TDs. A placekicker seems superfluous.

Steelers over Vikings. Now THAT's the Brett Favre I love to hate - no TDs, a pick, and a lost fumble. Let the suck begin (I hope)! And the rest of us learned a valuable lesson. Want to beat the Vikings? Shut down Adrian Peterson (only 69 yards), and make Favre do it. Because the old man CAN'T.

Bills over Panthers. Speaking of teams that suck...well, it's probably not the *whole* team. Actually, it's mostly Jake Delhomme. At least he's really fun to watch while he's losing. Once he's out of football - which at the rate he's going could be next week - he should definitely not look to get on the professional poker circuit.

Jets over Raiders. What was I smoking when I picked the Raiders to win? Must've been the same thing as Wilbon. Apparently, we're BOTH knuckleheads.

Bengals over Bears. Man, was that embarrassing. The Bengals put up 45 points on the Bears. How's that bend-don't-break D working out in Chi-town?

Cowboys over Falcons. Damn it! We had the chance to go up one game on the whole division, and the stupid Falcons couldn't pull it together for us! ARGH! It looked pretty promising for the first half, and then Tony Romo remembered that this guy named Miles Austin is supposed to be his #1 wideout and, hey, he actually played like a #1 wideout! Damn.

Saints over Dolphins. 46 to 34. That's like a high school basketball score. 80 points? BOTH teams defenses should be embarrassed.

Cardinals over Giants. I punked out and couldn't stay awake to see the end of this game and I am SO PISSED. I even said to Chef Spouse: "This is a great game, but the Giants will pull it together, and I'm beat. I'm going to bed." STUPID STUPID STUPID. And if you look at the stats, it looks like it should've been all Giants. Other than those 3 picks Eli threw. Will Witherspoon and Asante Samuel, are you paying attention? Also, I do believe that Fitz has the best butt in football. Crucial to the game? No, but nice to look at!